want to get better but had a really scary reaction to meds

[DeadMansBones]

I'm really struggling at the moment, I think I have always suffered with anxiety, particularly social anxiety, but was coping reasonably well up until july this year.

I was working full time and had been for the past 4 years, but had gradually become more and more anxious about becoming ill at work, being sick in front of people there or fainting. I would literally sit at work all day worrying about gettingg ill while I was there. One day it all got too much and I went home at lunch time and broke down to my oh. I was signed off for a few months then handed in my notice.

I was prescribed ad's but decided not to take them as I thought it was just the work situation that was getting me down.

So I was pretty much ok until I started a part time job in october. I felt so unbelievably nervous about starting this job but thought that it would ease off after the first week or so but it never really has, I cant eat for the whole day leading up to a shift which then leaves me feeling weak which again makes me worry about being ill or fainting. As I'm writing this I really cant believe how pathetic I sound. I find it so so hard to talk to new people and always feel inferior and like I dont quite fit in.

I have been carrying on like this and becoming more and more anxious, my son has been having some problems at school the last few weeks and I think that just pushed me over the edge. Last week I had a massive panic attack before taking the kids to school and had to have family members help me out.

So I went to the doctors and was prescribed sertraline 50mg, I started taking these and almost immediately felt worse. By the third day of taking them I was a total state, crying hysterically, unable to eat, nauseous, extremely agitated, shaking, just a total mess I felt like a different person. I stopped taking them on thurs and have settled down again.

I have messed up my job though, I am in the probation period and they are very strict about sickness, I really dont feel up to working as my anxiety is still really bad let alone facing attendance meetings etc.

I feel like I need to get strong and sort my head out before its worth me looking for another job or I will just screw it up again, but how am I supposed to do that if the ad's make me so much worse. I am terrified to try another sort after the effects of the sertraline, I honestly felt like I needed to be sectioned. I have been referred for talk therapy but the appt isn't until january.

Financially this leaves us screwed which is just yet another thing to worry about.

I feel like a total failure I am letting my family down so badly.

Hugs. Side effects of the meds are not the nicest and does take a few weeks to settle down but once your past this the meds will help get I back on an even keel. I'm on sertraline just had an increase started 8 weeks ago and they have been amazing for me

I honestly was really determined to stick with them but I couldn't cope anymore, my mum was having to come and look after me and the kids.

It was so scary I felt totally out of control of my mind and body.

I just spoke to the doctor on the phone and he said leave it a few days to get properly out of my system annd go back and see them to discuss trying something else.

I just want to function like a normal human being, I look at people having a relaxed chat at work and feel like an alien. It takes so much for me to chat to people and then for days afterwards I will just feel like they dont like me or that ive said something stupid. I hate it, I need to fix it so I can get and more importantly keep a job.

Really feel for you OP. anxiety is a bastard. Sounds like the dr thinks something else might work though, Whilst you'd expect some side effects in the first few weeks that's not manageable for you. Please try something else so you can start to enjoy your life again. I have bad panic attacks and chronic anxiety. Starting a new job would tip me over the edge at present. I feel the same, I'm letting my family down. But the best thing we can both do for our dc is get better. Have you had any Help other than meds?

Thanks for your reply, no other help yet, the earliest appt for talk therapy was the 11th jan, I'll definitely be going to it.

I know that my first priority needs to be getting better, it feels like such a long road though doesn't it. I wish I'd done something years ago before I got to this stage but always managed to muddle along.

I need to sort our finances out, possibly a debt management plan or something, we are barely entitled to any tax credits because I worked full time for the first 6 months of the tax year.

Fuck what a mess.

The meds I first tried didn't work for me that how I ended up on these. The next set may help you. It is a bastard. Since starting medication I have getting a bit of my life back would say in 80% myself these days do have rough days but I'm back at work and enjoying life with dd so hang in there xx

It is worth talking to the go about the ad's, as most ad's have some reactions but they settle down and then help. Some have no reactions, so it is worth trying different ones ( eg over Christmas when not at work?) - so worth finding out if how you were was medication side effects or not or worth trying something else like citalopram at a lower dose for instance.

I will try some different ad's, scary though.

I think I can kiss goodbye to my job, ive only been there 6wks
and they really do frown upon sickness. oh well, cant do anything about that now.

Honestly hope you can find an alternative drug that will help. Blaming yourself for not doing anything earlier is just adding to your anxiety. You're doing the best you can for yourself and your family. I suspect your anxiety is too high for it to work but I have been using 5HTP for several months and it does help with my general jitteriness and with sleep. I notice the difference when I've missed a day. It helped within 10 days. I do have severe anxiety at times and panic attacks. PM me if I can help.

I think the problem with AD is you feel worse before you feel better. You maybe need to try another med and get an action plan together for the first 2 weeks, like letting family members take the kids to school etc.
Let the job go, get yourself better first before you put any additional pressure on yourself.

Picked up a prescription for fluoxetine today, going to take the first one just before bed.

eeeek scared!

I hope it helps. It took me 3 years, 8 meds, and a diagnosis of bipolar to get well again after having DD2. (But the consultant pdoc thinks I'm 'Special' when it comes to getting bizarre side effects. Whoppee.) My point is that meds can affect people so differently , it really is a suck it and see situation. It's hard work and I never thought it would take 3 years to get well again, but it was worth it. The alternative of being ill simply wasn't an alternative.

however, I don't think I would have got better again were it not for seeing a psychologist, too. It's been a combination of psychology, meds, and a lot of hard work.

no they haven't helped, three days in I started to feel really shit again so stopped taking them, I'm still feeling the side effects now and I've really had enough.

I know the advice is always to stick with them for a good few weeks but I feel like if I do I will end up really losing the plot they have made me feel so much worse.

dont know what to do, too scared to try anything else.

My psychiatrist always starts me on 1/2 a dose for 2 weeks as this lessens any side effects. Sertraline had been the best one for me & other family members with the least side effects. If you can break the tablet in 1/2 or use a pill cutter it really helps to build up in the system. Check with a pharmacist because if a med is coated or in a soft capsules you can't cut it. Mirtazapine is good for anxiety. It makes you sleep well & you can take 1/2 a 15 mg tablet.

I have tried loads of meds but Sertraline, Olanzapine & occasionally Clonazapam works for me.
There are older tricyclics anti d's you can try instead of SSRI's.

Just to chip in - extremely bad reaction to ADs here. Was hallucinating that the kids weren't breathing and paranoid my mum and DH were out to get me after taking ONE.

As I'm in charge of the kids most days there was no way I could risk getting any worse on them and am having to power through PND mark #2 without.

I was annoyed really as was told by the GP and everyone else that they take two weeks to get I to your system whatever the hell that means. No - it took one for me.

its scary isn't it blippy, I was expecting side effects but this was too much.

I think I am done with ad's, I'm too scared to try any others. Going to have a chat with gp about beta blockers, apparently they can help with the physical effects of anxiety. I've also ordered a book on learning mindfulness.

Hi

All ads give us se mine lasted weeks but I was bad at the time so didn't think it was se of ad till much later down the line but I had diazepam to help with se .

Why don't you ask for small dose of them mine was 2mg 3 x daily.

Good luck it a hard long road, hope the betas help you

Yes it is really scary. No more for me either. Ever. They're just not for me. If one does that to me for example, if I was to power through this magical two week mark to feel better how the hell would I feel coming off them!!

The experience annoyed me (not to mention being absolutely petrifying). I know they help many but to be honest I now think that the fact they replenish serotonin is just absolute bollocks. I just think they're drugs like any other mind altering drugs - with the ability for some to take the edge off the pain.

Have you tried a double bag of camomile tea?! It sometimes settles me.

i had a bad reaction to ads, gp had to come and inject me with something to send me to sleep, I was hyper, hysterical and hallucinating.
never tried anything medicinal again-
I had hypnotherapy and saw a clinical psychologist weekly.

Not to be awful wfrances but I'm glad it's not just me! I thought I was a freak. Did the doctor ever come up with a reason for it?!

How was hypnotherapy for you?