Post natal depression or PMS?

[WeeAl]

Hi,

I need some advice.

I have a DS of 2 years old. I'm fairly sure that I suffered (undiagnosed) PND during the first year of his life. I have been much better since I started back at work (just before DS was 1) l, work part time. But I still have days where I find myself uncontrollably crying and ratty at him. I think this is often before my period is due so often put it down to PMS. I do however worry that I am still suffering from the aftermath of PND. Is this even possible 2 years on?

My DH is keen (but tactfully) to have another child but I'm really worried about going back to those deep and dark feelings that I suffered daily soon after DS was born.

We have recently moved house out of town and am really struggling to meet mums in the area particularly as toddler groups are on days I work.

I'm really at a loss as to what I should do or whether this is just me wallowing in self put around the time of my period?!

Help!

My PND hit me like a train when dd2 was almost 18 months. I had been plodding along thinking to feel very little was normal with two under two, then I fell pregnant again, miscarried the baby and fell into a dark pit.

Depression affects people in different ways. For me it was not feeling much at all. I was unable to cry, unable to feel very angry, happy, excited etc.

If your feelings are monthly though it does sound maybe like PMT.

Depression is unrelenting.

I hope you get/ask for support and feel better.

Hope you can see your gp. Pnd is the name given to depression in the post natal period, up to when a baby is 18 months old. If it continues after that age it is depression, or other type of mental illness that a dr diagnoses, which is a different condition to pm's - so hope you can be open with a gp, answer the questions so get their diagnosis and any treatment options.

Those difficult days you describe and feelings - do you have them now? If so tell the dr. Many of those difficult times are temporarily caused due to absolute exhaustion, sleep deprecation and caring for others needs constantly. So if you talk to your dh about a second child could you discuss what support could be put in place to prevent those emotions or how to help you through them? Your HV is a useful place for support.

Because I was at high risk of pnd and hospitalisation ( due to history of depression and a physical health condition) etc I was monitored closely and although I feared I had pnd the medics told me what I experienced was down to exhaustion and helped me set things up to increase sleep/rest as much as is realistic. My dh did many of the night wakings with expressed milk or formula for instance, more than I did to prevent a relapse for me. But he went into having a child knowing this was part of his role!!

Moving areas and house and lack of social contact may be contributing factors so why not look for other groups on other areas to do. I have no groups to go to as the local ones are on days I work also so need to travel to find others! NCT do groups, children's centres, churches etc. then paid music and singing groups, swim sessions - you pay it and it is on somewhere I am finding! If you can help with the things that can change then hopefully that will help.

Talking to your HV is another source of support, they have support groups etc plus if you feel you need more support they can refer you for a children's centre worker or for parenting support sessions etc.

Thanks for your message. It is helpful. My husband has the car during the day and travelling is increasingly difficult due to long bus journies and potty training and general toddler behaviour. I sometimes struggle to have the confidence and motivation to get out and meet new people but I know it is really important in stopping what might become a vicious cycle.

I agree I should go and talk with my GP and health visitor in my new area. I will need to restore the trust in these people as I really feel that they previously let me down by not providing me with the help and support I required at my darkest times the first time round. But then maybe I should've been more forthcoming myself for help.

Many thanks again for your help.

Hope you get some help.

The HV will have a good idea of what is on in your area, may be able to put you in touch with things.

I find walking to the local library ( only open a few times a week) a good activity and they sometimes have toddler sessions on ( well once a month or less), but something like that may be worth a shot?

Are there any local churches near you? Not saying you have to be religious or that I am either but they often are good places for mum and tots groups - or Christmas services at child friendly times to get to know new mums?

I hardly know any mums where I live either, it is hard. But I am going to force myself to take my ds to a group after Christmas!! I did when on maternity leave and just getting out of the house helped. Hope you can find something.