Recovering from anxiety and depression-there'll be bad days, won't there?

[BigBirthdayGloom]

I'm doing really well on citalopram which I started about six weeks ago. Today, I got a speeding ticket and a car bill for £800. I wound the day up being horrible and shouty like I was Pre citalopram. And I've still got scant motivation to sort out my messy house and pretty much want to sleep. But equally, I was up three times last night with two year old and so that's not surprising?
I'm not wrong in thinking that there'll still be bad days and that I'm not suddenly going to be superwoman, am I?

Nope, I would say that you have had a horrid day and you are feeling at the end of your tether for completely justified reasons. Poor you!

There is def going to be ups and downs, but be kind to your self: lack of sleep, speeding ticket and huge bill would test anyone.

My therapist said to me that "good enough, is good enough", which I try to live by. Stop aiming for superwoman - sometimes just getting through to bedtime is enough!

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you :)

ps just read back that good enough comment, it made sense when she said it, not so much written down on paper!

Thanks! Dh was lovely about it all. He gave me a big hug when I said about the ticket. And although he did swear slightly about the car, it's not as I'd it was our fault.

I saw a counsellor and she used the good enough thing too. I think my problem is that I refuse to define good enough with a low enough standard and I'm still having to cut lots of the corners I don't want to just to keep on an even keel. Telly time is something I beat myself up on and I feel bad that I don't cook proper meals a lot. But you know, my kids had school lunch today so I think fish fingers and oven chips is okay for tea. In front of the telly? Well yes actually. But I got them all fed, three times, off to school, collected, one off to a music lesson having actually practised and then off to bed. So perhaps I am good enough. Even with a bit of shouting.

Good enough = everyone fed, reasonably clean and reasonably happy. Totally agree with sillymilly on that.

I think that these days we all put pressure on ourselves to be in some way extraordinary, and in fact that is totally unnecessary. I have learned (slowly and the hard way) not to ask too much of myself, and just accept that sometimes it is fine to do sod all the bare minimum hence my house is a shit pit .

I think that anyone would have been stressed and snappy after the day you've had, so don't be hard on yourself. You will feel better after a good sleep. Onwards and upwards.

How are you doing birthday ? Hope things are feeling a bit better for you

It's all part of recovery and moving on. Learning what caused the anxiety and depression, and how you can change to stop it happening again.
My type A personality did me no favours. I've learned over the past few years that nobody is perfect, nobody needs to be and nobody else cares whether you appear to be or not!

Ah, thank you! Have had a big couple of days. Part of what tipped me over into being really poorly recently (it's a big thing for me to say that and really helped me when the gp described me as poorly) was a huge building project we've done which left our house in chaos. To be really on top of my anxiety, my house needs to be in some sort of order (as much as it can with three children) and the last couple of days I've really started to get things back on track. It spirals upwards then because I start to play with the dc more because I'm able to stop thinking about the state of the house and adding play "mess" on top.
This morning we sat around the table doing puzzles. Might not seem much but for me it's huge. And as long as I can cbt myself so that I feel pleased about that instead of guilty about the times I haven't been doing good stuff with the dc I think I'll be okay.
Hope that wasn't too long-just really pleased to be able to be a bit calm and normal.

Violator-I've had to get on top of perfectionism. It's been no friend to me and I have to realise that whilst its lovely to serve h

Sorry, homemade cakes and tea in a teapot, what matters when someone comes round is the welcome and the chat. And a myriad of other examples!

Lovely posts birthday it's good to hear you sounding happy

Oh BigBirthday, your really doing so well, anxiety is a shit, and yes your doing all these things with your DC, but time out for you as well! Get that duvet down, snuggle up to your DC, smack on a proper cartoon and try to breathe a bit xx

You're very right, oopsadaisy-I'm trying to be careful to avoid sudden enthusiasm then crash and burn. The signs are good so far. Dh was out las night and I sorted toys with a vengeance. But I did it for an hour and a half, then put my feet up to watch I'm a celebrity. The old me would have still been at it at half one.
Thanks big area! Today we managed ikea with no meltdown!

The other thing re down time is that in the week, I now do just the minimum while dd2 naps and make sure I sit down for a good hour. When we had builders in I just didn't have any personal space which is always a bad thing for me, especially since dd2 is a dreadful night time sleeper and I co sleep. Without the afternoon, I feel completely hemmed in.

BigBirth when you reach the point of just chilling without forcing yourself too, you'll know certain stuff is getting better - I really feel for you, anxiety is a killer -

I suffered awfully from panic attacks, (anxiety also), I spent two hours shopping in sainsburys once, only to have such a panic attack about 'shaking at the checkout' - I left my trolley and walked out - feeling sick and like I was going to die -

Thank god for online shopping!!

You will get through this, but don't think 'getting' busy with nice stuff helps, getting chilled and not caring about it does -

You come across as a lovely lady, who's got everyone's best interests at heart, and I bet when you mentioned about 'tidying' the house, your house is cleaner than most!!

Just my guess, and I may be wrong, but think you need a proper mate cuddle, and watch the 'I'm a Celeb' final with a nice glass of vino, knowing your totally normal, and (from a stranger who doesn't know you) I think your doing brilliantly xxx