Therapy struggles

[Messupmum]

I've started group therapy, I waited a year for it. Was told everything will get better once I start therapy as that's what I 'need'. I've been going a few months and I hate it!

As it is a group there isn't much chance to speak every week. I hate the formality of it, the way we're not allowed to contact anyone in the group, as soon as the session time is up, the therapist abruptly stops, even if someone is talking and upset. I feel paranoid about what I say, even though it's supposed to be a safe place to talk. I get embarrassed and my mind goes blank, then I come away from the group frustrated that I've not discussed anything. I've driven home crying more than once.

I've been told I wouldn't be good with individual therapy, and I was assessed and group therapy was deemed to be what I should do. I feel a failure that I've waited so long for it and I'm dreading going each week.

Hi Messupmum It sounds like you're finding it hard. Session time would stop like that if you were having individual therapy too. Lots of people find groups hard, but also lots of people find therapy hard (whether group or individual). Maybe give yourself some slack? Could you jot down what you want to talk about in the group?

I go to a group, but it's not therapy, but even so it can be hard at times, particularly with group dynamics.

Good luck with your next time.

I just don't know if I'm getting anything from it, I don't see the point in it? I sometimes write stuff down but I show it to my cpn as I don't know if I can take notes into the group? No one else does. Maybe I'm just doing it all wrong. Had to make dd's tea while crying earlier, and trying to hide it from her.

Any chance of being in a different group?

Hi, therapy is hard sadly. It is not the nice, cosy, relaxing situation that films etc can make it out to be. Individual therapy is the same, after waiting ten months I am in the middle of my 10 set sessions; each is 50 mins long, end abruptly and the therapist shares nothing - all I know and will know is her name. That is the style of therapy. Some individual private therapists are different as you choose what you lay for - but that is not an option for everyone. My aim is to save up for some private treatment of my choosing in the long term though!!

Group therapy uses different models and has to have those strict boundaries to protect its members. Group therapies like DBT tend to be more about learning the 4 key skills, they are not sessions as such to talk about self ( that is role of Cpn), but to learn mindfulness, interpersonal skills and the other 2! Perhaps that is why it is harder as it is a different model to any treatment you had in the past and it is meant to be. The interpersonal effectiveness elements is taught by the very process of being in a group and the very fact people are in that group are there because that is what they struggle with.

Know that does not help, but thought would try to explain from a more lay oerson's approach why it can be hard. It is also a longer programme as it is group, to cover for the fact that it is not all focused on one person. But the idea is you learn things from the group situations and do not sit passively whilst others talk, example could practise mindfulness and tolerance whilst they do that etc.