I'm scared and not coping.

[CleanAllTheThings]

I've got a 13 week old baby and have been on a low dose of sertraline for 10 weeks. It was helping but for the last week I have started to feel bad again. I feel detached from my dd, tearful and don't want to deal with her. I shouted at her to be quiet earlier and am so ashamed of myself. No one is helping me and I feel like screaming. I tried to tell my mum I wasn't coping this morning but she is worse than useless and just left me. Not a word of support or a hug or anything.
I tried to get a gp app but can't get one for two weeks and I'm scared they will want to take my dd anyway. I'm sat crying on the sofa with dd asleep on my lap and don't know what to do.

I have no useful advice to offer but don't want to read and run. this will pass.

Ask for an emergency doctor appt. If you go down and sit and wait they ought to be able to fit you in.

Go for a walk. When my babies were little (many years ago) I used to love everyone's smiles when they saw my baby.

Seriously - insist on an appt today.

Don't feel ashamed of yourself, you didn't ask to feel this bad and you are doing everything you can. You need to ring your GP and tell them you need an emergency appointment today. Nobody is going to take your DD away just because you feel like this. Nobody took my DS away, nobody even mentioned social services, they just wanted to make his mum better so that we could get on with life. Did your GP start sertraline because you were feeling bad? They might want to look at changing the dose or see if there is something else that might suit you better.

Try phoning your health visitor and ask her to see you. They can be so helpful, as they help mothers with young babies. So much of what we find hard with a young baby is normal but does not mean it is easy and they can get you support - and it is their job to see you. Why not phone today as can take a day or so to ge throug. Or ask when next go to get baby weighed.

Children's centres are also places you can go and ask to talk to someone. They are used to it, so are trained in support, in a way gp's are not sometimes as gp's do everything but HV and children centres work with young families

Thanks for the advice. My dp came home early to look after us and I'm feeling a little better. Have a massively wooly head from crying so much though.
I'm going to ring my gp in the morning to get an appointment.

I am worried about talking to hv or children's centre though in case it escalates in some way. I know it's paranoid but my job is connected to their roles (without outing myself) and I don't want them to think I can't manage.

Honestly there is so much more support available through the HV - so many people get exhausted or get pnd, they are so helpful at reassuring and helping. There are support groups, access to them and their expertise. For me it helped just to be told how I was was normal ... Sleep deprecation, constant care of a tiny one, change in role - I did not have pnd but would have been labelled that if went to a gp, as it was I needed sleep, rest and support from others til it passed.

No need to worry about things escalating, a gp is just the same ( and can contact people etc just like a HV). A gp is just as responsible for safeguarding and referral issues as a HV or children's centre but cannot access the help and support that they can.

If a gp refers you for counselling or to a peri natal mental health team they will contact the HV anyway.

Sorry should have said glad dh able to come home and feel a but better. Hopefully a few days of extra sleep and support should help you recover a bit more too.

Thanks Hoop, I know you speak sense! I am lucky to have a really nice health visitor.