Stress management - how to cope when the smallest things make you explode!

[takingawhile]

Hello,

I realised I might have a problem with how I cope with things, when I went to Starbucks. I was child free and exited by having some time to myself. I brought a stay in sandwich and coffee, and said very loudly to the barrister "are there any seats?" She said "one over there" and everyone in queue looked over and I said "ok stay in please". As I went to sit down, two girls in the queue, ran over and took the seat just as I arrived to the table. There was a shrug of the shoulders and a "sorry" in a you snooze you lose kind of way. Now, I know this is annoying, but I completely lost my temper, demanded my 40 p back from the barrister for the extra stay in cost.
I was fuming and as I walked out, with my sloppy sandwich I could eat in the street I felt like crying. The child in me!

I realised I don't cope with things well. I may be going back to work soon, and it is inevitable at some point things "won't go well", and it occurred to me I don't cope with stress well. Prechild my husband and I would drink wine after work, and now, I will often grab chocolate or we will order a take away after a hard day.

I know when my little one is mid tantrum I find it really tough, my stress levels go through the roof. I then go and quickly get some sugar and a coffee. I need a way to cope with the stress, particularly when "in the moment" I with have a huge emotional response or I completely try and block it out with food or it used to be with drink.

How do you all cope? There are
People who have far more stressful loves than me, yet they don't seem to get as upset or as hurt as I would in their situation.

I don't know how to take my stress response "down a gear" of that makes sense. I mean, who else would be In tears because someone stole their seat in Starbucks lol.

In all seriousness, I would be really appreciative to hear your stories.

X

I'd be the same as you! How bloody rude and annoying...
I don't really have any useful tips. I just fantasize about mental powers to cause others physical misery whenever I choose, as a punishment. Anyone who displeases me would end up with the worst arse itch they've ever had. Silly and not very grown up, but I guess it sometimes takes the edge off...

Havr you had things happen in your life to up your anger do you think?

Well that was really rude and unpleasant behaviour and at least you didn't get into a punch up.

A few years ago I was getting to the point where my rage would spill out into some pretty out there behaviour (shouting at the local verger for example).

In my case I was just overloaded with a toddler, work and sundry other problems and I was really, really tired-I was in fight or flight mode all the time-a low dose of citalopram really helped-I mean it was all but miraculous.

Now I am very vigilant about my stress levels and getting enough rest.

Okay, so I try to eat well, sleep well and make sure all things organised for next day so that I have as little to think about in the mornings as poss (my worst tine). But honestly, my stress levels were beyond manageable and I've been taking citalopram for six weeks. I barely feel angry or stressed anymore and if I do, there's a good reason for it that would make a "normal" person react. I believe that everyone has a metaphorical "pot" into which stressful things go and when it overflows, either because the pot's too small or you're trying to put too many stressful things in, then it overflows into all the horrible stress symptoms. Citalopram has made my pot bigger. Simples. For me anyway.

Do go to your gp. You don't have to live like this.

This is all really useful stuff. BrittleStick, that's very funny, my husband says he does the same thing...! I had started taking fluoxetine, funnily enough, once a week, I wanted to start on the smallest dose possible. I noticed an improvement in my mood generally but I'm still at breaking point at funny times. Ie, if any ind of stress comes along, or someone does something that's hurtful, I take everything to heart. I also seem to swell on things and that can make me angry. I'm quite introverted, I think, at times, yet can suddenly flip to complete aggressive, "lost it" mode. Harrap, your post also made me laugh. No I didn't get into a inch up lol, but I'm sure that when I ,arched up to the front of the queue and demanded my 40p back because there was nowhere to "sit now, add my seat has been taken who overheard you say there was a seat" the entire queue felt like punching me!

I then dwell on it, and even if I think I am not upset by things, I suddenly find I can't sleep or I just get a sinking feeling, and will then realise it was because I have picked up on a "bad vibe" and taken it to heart. Harrap, you plot thing, toddler and tiredness (for parent and toddler) do not mix!

I must admit I don't sleep well, MLO isn't the best sleeper too, so that can be contributing to things. However, I sometimes think I can only function "in a bubble" where no stress exists. I am either not stressed and very laid back, or I am through the roof stressed. Coupled with this, I sometimes am really sensitive, as I said above, people doing something hurtful or unkind, I really get upset by things, even when it's people who really shouldn't matter.

x