If you have depression & are in a relationship do you have coping strategies?

[Sunflower6]

My husband left me 19 months ago and we have since been trying to sort things out between us. My husband finds it hard to cope with my depression and wants some coping strategies for when I'm feeling low or anxious - does anyone have any coping strategies they can recommend?

Is it your partner that wants the coping strategies? if so you are at least onto a good start as he is releasing/trying to cope with all the changes you are going through. At least he is being supportive, when you are felling alright explain how low you feel and then pick a code word for when you are feeling really low and for him to maybe give you some space or take the baby etc. It could be as simple as saying ok baby I'm gonna go for a coffee just go in the garden or something.

Yes it's my husband who wants strategies on what he should if I am feeling low as he finds it difficult and sometimes it causes arguments

My wife has learnt over many years to cope with my depressive episodes. It still takes a toll on her, which of course makes me feel worse too. But a key thing has been that she just lets my mood exist, she does not try to rationalise it away, she accepts it as real and genuinely felt even though it is beyond reason. It is therefore a condition we share, a sacrifice on her part for which I will be eternally grateful. She cannot succeed all the time and at its worst my black dog actively drives her away. But much of the time it works and that saves me from the double pain of being depressed and also lonely and totally isolated.

It can be so hard. My poor DH virtually did everything for some years in our household, and had to be the sole earner and generally "the responsible one". It's no wonder he ended up needing some ADs and time off himself in one point...

First of all we had some family therapy - I think six sessions over 4 months. This was really really useful for us, even though we already thought we had a good relationship. It really helped us in not having a situation where we're trying to tread on egg shells to avoid upsetting each other and both end up frustrated and feeling worse.

I think these days we keep strong by honestly telling each other how we are (my DH also has periods of depression too, although not as bad as mine used to be), what we feel we want/need from the other one to help (to be given space or some kind of help or anything), and neither one of us trying feel repsonsible for the other one's moods. Compassion and any help we can give each other, yes, but not stopping to wallow in each other's depression.

We've also talked through potential situations where things might go from bad to worse. What signs and symptoms would mean walking the other one to the GP's; when and for what to contact a crisis number; where to draw the line of "this is no longer ok and I need to intervene".