How to stop worrying about my life shit

[LividofLondon]

Does anyone know how I can stop myself worrying about life shit? I've had some CBT which I found really useful for helping stop negative trains of thought, but wondered if anyone has any tips for specifically coping with worrying. My issues are (and these are to give you an idea of what's going on in my head. I'd prefer not to get into convos about selling my place V living at Mum's because I've given it way too much thought already and I get really drained regurgitating it):

• Having to get tradesmen in (without recommendations because none of the neighbours know anyone) to do work before my late Mum's property is ready to let. I worry that they will let me down or do a bad job. It's not at all local to me so it's double the hassle.

• Then I worry about when I can sell the place I'm in now. It's been a PITA for ages even though I've tried different agents and prices. It's a lovely place, just not for most people. Things not helped by ex-BF on mortgage having got arsey about it not selling, so he's a potential source of stress again too. Another worry.

• Then I worry about being able to find a place to rent with my dog. I don't want to move into Mum's place until I'm older because it's a bit too quiet; for my mental well-being I think I need to move somewhere where I can build more of a social life.

• Then I worry about being able to get all my stuff into a rental property that I can afford. I've not rented before and the newness is both exciting and worrying.

There's more but they revolve around these issues. I think I'm an optimist, that everything works out alright in the end, but I've struggled to remain emotionally buoyant these past 6 or so years and I feel tired. I'd like to stop worrying because it's draining. Any tips appreciated, thanks.

I think you've hit upon the answer yourself- you say you're excited about the prospect of renting- this is what you need to focus on.

On the other hand I would ensure that that you have some safety nets. Re. Tradesmen- can you get
Recommendations or only take people from checkatrade?

I too would be worried about the dog situation- it isn't impossible but some landlords are funny. It may be worth ringing round letting agents and just finding out how many do take dogs before you go ahead...

I'm sure these little reassurances should let you get some more head space.

Thanks Rumple. The tradesmen issue is a big one for me as I always like to hire people via word of mouth, yet I shall have to rely on checkatrade for example this time. Otherwise I could go down there and accost people in the street asking for recommendations. Actually, that might not be a bad idea as I'm confident enough to do that. I found the latest and best estate agent by asking people in the bank!

The dog issue is something I'm researching on another thread and am fairly optimistic now that, due to my flexibility regarding location and property, that it shouldn't be as bad as I fear.

Funny enough I read on another thread someone mentioning mindfulness. I think that might be a help too so shall look into that. The worst time of day is when I lay in bed and my mind just won't stop racing which keeps me awake.

Sorry for your loss.

I worry OP too. I always want to make the best decision rather than just a decision or the decision at the time.

One thing I am trying to do is accept I cannot do it all to my prefered standards - there has to be compromise.

Are there any local Facebook groups/pages where your Mum's place is? That might be a way to find recommendations?

This might sound crazy but could somebody house sit for you whilst the work is going on? You might find somebody on Gumtree. I know that opens up a lot of other issues etc.

Do you have friends/family that can help you with any of this? It just sounds like a lot of "stuff" to be dealing with (along with grief?).

Could you try to write down your worries at night to release them from your mind?

Hi there I would like to reassure you that you are normal for having these worries.

I work for a letting agents. We let out properties to people and some have dogs.
If we manage the property we are letting - we organise all tradesmen to go into the properties. And we don't rip people off. We used qualified, insured tradesmen whom we trust.

Please try not to worry. Once you have started the process you will feel much happier xx

I worry OP too. I always want to make the best decision rather than just a decision or the decision at the time

I can really relate to that Margot. Sometimes I wish I had a "that'll do" approach, but I need to know I'm doing all I can to make the right choices. Thanks for the ideas about Facebook and Gumtree too, I hadn't thought of those. No-one up here to help (I'm a bit of a hermit - not helped by living rurally - so only one proper friend up here) and my friends down south aren't able to help.

Thanks Funnyfish. I had a look on RightMove to get a feel for the numbers of properties in the area and there are loads that look suitable that are within budget. That's made me feel a bit better as law of averages mean that even if only a few allow dogs it would still be quite a lot.

I just wonder how people cope with worrying though? Do they meditate or something? Does anyone know a way of shutting my thoughts up when I want to sleep? Sometimes I lie awake and thoughts keep popping up; no sooner have I got rid of one then another appears. If it's ideas I write them down and that really helps, but when they are just worries I don't know how to stop them becoming consuming.