PND or am I being dramatic?

[Gangie]

I have a 3yr old & almost 10 month old. I feel terrible but not all of the time. Some days are good some days I cry at everything and nothing. I have no sex drive. My partners every move irritates me (not his fault). I am snappy and stressed with the kids.

I have some personal issues goin on..alcoholic father in off the drink/on the drink scenario, partner out of work and lots of money problems. But I also feel like it's more than that. It suddenly dawned on me today that I have been feeling like this for months now. I am falling asleep fine, but waking up really really early and can't get back to sleep.

I have a loving partner and two beautiful children. I have lost almost 20lbs and look great, started couch to 5k and completed a 7k race for charity and go to the gym 3 x a week and love it, so I should be feeling great.

I don't know what I am asking. Is it too late to have pnd?

Sorry your having a rough time. Maybe park to your gp. From what I know pnd is diagnosed up until your youngest is 18month (sorry if that's incorrect). Hopefully someone else can help x

My PND kicked in around 8 months, I think, so no, it is not too late. Mine hit me when I went on a holiday to visit my sister in a lovely warm country and didn't enjoy it at all. I had had bad days and even suicidal thoughts, but for some reason I managed to rationalise them away as they were infrequent and not permanent. I kept thinking the holiday would be good and I would finally feel happy there. And it was good, but when I couldn't enjoy it, I realised something was deeply wrong.

I went on anti depressants and felt better very quickly. I think you can only try and see if they work.

What I mean is: even good things, like going snorkelling and seeing beautiful fish did not make me feel good like they would have done in the past.

Sorry to keep posting! I think sometimes we get a high tolerance for feeling rubbish. For me, stepping out of my usual life reminded me of how I used to feel when I had lovely experiences and couldn't feel like that anymore. I don't think you are being dramatic at all. It sounds like without the exercise and weight loss etc. you may be in a much worse place, and you have really done all that YOU can to make this better. But if it is still here, then you need to go to the docs. A lot of this is for your kids benefit too. I was a better parent when I took the pills as I could be so much more patient and fun. And I am now off them (youngest are 5), so it's a myth that you have to be dependent forever.

Thanks for your replies. I currently in the doctors waiting room I will update after I have seen him. Tbh I will feel relieved that it is not just me iyswim!

Good luck! Do update when you can...

Hope Dr was helpful. Is definitely not just you, mine has kicked in at around 10 months.

How did it go?

Well he said its PND. I'm really relieved!! He has referred me for counselling. I'm seeing someone Friday. I am not goin down the anti d route yet as I feel I would like to try the counselling/exercise/food route first. I think getting the diagnosis was the biggest thing, onwards and upwards from here!

Can I just ask if you told anyone? If so who and were they helpful or not? Obviously my partner knows & my best friend but wary about telling my family. I don't think they will be particularly understanding....more of a 'just get on with it mindset if you know what I mean?'

well done on asking for help.

Personally, other than DH and 2 friends no-one knows. I suspect DBro may have seem my meds and guessed though. One of my biggest issues is letting people down so telling my family is too much for me. It really helped me being able to talk to my friends, they don't make a big deal of it but are great support.

My family and husband know, also some friends. I found last time that people were actually usually really nice when I told them. This time it's fairly new, nobody's said anything bad though.

Well done, you'll be feeling a lot better soon I'm sure.

I didn't tell that many people at the time aside from dh and trusted friends. But I've told quite a few people about it since.

I told my sister, but not my parents. They have a very outdated view of depression and anti depressants! (You must be seriously mentally ill if you need to take them and mental illness is something you almost choose to have as opposed to being a physical illness which manifests in your brain/ mind).

Yes I know what you mean marigold! I don't think my parents would be quite so bad but would prob think
It's something I would choose to 'dwell on'! I will tell a few close friends as needs be for now, but maybe in a few weeks I will rethink it as I really do believe that things like this need to be talked about. If I broke my leg Id be telling everyone

I know. I talk about it a lot more now it is over and can campaign for it! At the time, I felt so fragile, I couldn't cope with negative comments (and there were a couple, mostly well meant but when you are so sensitive...). Mental illness is so misunderstood even by those who go through it, let alone anyone else. It took me several years, and in fact being around someone else who was very open about it, to really just accept it, and accept my need for medication at the time.