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Mental health

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Did anyone's depression lift when they finished a relationship?

2 replies

mulranno · 23/11/2013 20:05

Been in a very long marriage - major issues and it has now run it's course. Have been in and out of depressive episodes for years - in the depth of it I always blame my relationship with my husband and want out...he never goes or I never leave at that point. Then I come out of the darkness and just shuffle along until the next one. Does anyone else focus on the negatives in their relationship when they are down? Trying to figure out if it is all in my head or if my extreme dissatisfaction with my marriage when I am down is real or not -- does this make sense to anyone else?

OP posts:
tigerbear · 24/11/2013 17:38

Hi, yes, your post makes complete sense to me.

I ended my marriage after over 10 years together (4 married) last year.
I'd had a depressive episode when I was younger, before meeting EXH, but had many more during our time together.
It's very difficult to say what makes people depressed- its a huge catalogue of things and I don't think it can be pinpointed or 'blamed' on one particular thing or person. In my case, I would say it's genetic, but also that my relationship with EXH didn't help (feeling that he didn't find me attractive/I didn't find him attractive, not feeling appreciated, that there was no romance etc).

No we're separated, and I certainly feel better generally - I don't miss him, even though looking back, he wasn't a bad person - HOWEVER, I would focus on some sort of therapy if you can to sort out why you feel the way you do. I'd say that a lot of my depression stems from low self confidence and you need to work on that before anything else.

Although I feel better that I'm out of the relationship with EXH, the sad thoughts I had whilst with him have now been replaced by new feelings of anxiety regarding finding someone new. I've been online dating and the experience is pretty brutal - for the most part, it's made me more down...

Sorry for the long post. If you need to chat, just PM me.

Hugs

TheSontaranPussycat · 24/11/2013 23:58

Oh yes. Yes indeed. As soon as I filed for divorce just over 2 years ago, my depression lifted. Things then got very stressful, before everything was sorted out, but that was quite different from being depressed. And for over a year now, I have actually been happy :)

It's late, I'll try and sketch a bit more in when I'm not tired.

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