pnd 2 years after birth?Is this likely or even possible?

[dogdaysareover]

I feel extremely low today. A colleague of mine came into work (she is on maternity leave) and was gushing about how amazing being a mother is and how she is utterly in love with her dd. It makes me so sad that I have never felt that gushing love. I have cared (well) for ds but it almost feels like it is out of duty rather than coming from a place of pure love. I think back to his early days, he is now 2, anx just remember feeling mired in misery and seeing my colleague today really clarified the contrast in our experiences. I feel like since I had ds something inside me has broken, my spirit, maybe and I dont feel it is necessarilly fixable. I think I have just resigned myself to feeling that I am not cut out for motherhood and I will not be having anymore dc. I have thought like this for about 18 months, I think arou d the 6 month mark I just gave up all hope. But talking to colleague made me wonder if maybe I have had pnd, but for so long? Perhaps I really am just not a natural. Cant help feeling that I have been robbed of greatjoy and happiness but who or what has robbed me I dont know. Anyone relate?

Worth going to HV or Gp for a chat maybe?

It will not be classed as PND if you have a 2yr old, that diagnosis is only for people with a baby up to 12-18 months ( at most), so would be anxiety, low mood/depression diagnosis or something not post natal related.

Remember if you can everyone can put an act on and gush!! May not be real. I am finding a toddler is exhausting and am shattered which affects my mood. Talked today with a fellow mum and she shared similar which made me realise it was more normal than I thought.

If it helps, a friend of ours got PND, I am sure - so is her husband - but she refused to acknowledge it. Its been going on 9 years now and has got worse - it has taken our friend away and replaced her with someone I don't recognise - and driven a wedge between her and her (loving) husband and family members (both her parents and her PiL)

If you feel as you have described, please go and discuss it with your Doctor. I hope that you get a positive outcome.

Dogdays I feel much the same as you. I'm also very resentful (and jealous) of women without mh problems following a baby.

I think it could be an act though...I read a study the other day where the majority of women disliked the first year of having a baby. You might have caught your friend at a 'good' moment.

Also remember 1 in 7 develop PND. And that's diagnosed cases, not women who haven't been diagnosed for fear of their children being taken away etc. That's a LOT of women going through the shit.

I don't want to sound like I'm dragging other women down but it does help me to think it's not just me. And it's not just you.

X

I don't feel 'fixable' at the moment either. I can absolutely relate.

I just have to try and hope this will get better one day.