Feeling so fed up because i can't conceive

[erilou38]

Iv'e been trying to conceive now for 15 months with no success. I have children from a previous relationship but none with my husband who has none of his own. I'm 38, my husband is just 26. My lovely husband is great with my children and would dearly love one of his own but it's just not happening. Nothing wrong with him, i am the one with the problem. I want to have a baby so badly but fear that it's never going to happen. I know that at my age i have to be realistic, there is a good chance it won't happen. I suspect (my doctor also), that i may be going through an early menopause. The thought of never being able to have another child makes me feel so empty. I wake up every morning and feel low and depressed thinking about my situation and find it hard to take much interest in anything else. I want to be able to just move on and accept things the way they are but i'm struggling. I think my husband will always love me regardless of if i can give him a child or not but i know it's what he wants and i feel such a failure. I was in an unhappy relationship for 13 years and then 2 years ago i met my husband. We had a lovely wedding and the next step was a baby i hoped, but it hasn't worked out. Me and my husband have agreat relationship and are happy but it's getting spoillt by me always being so down and miserable. The baby thing has now actually got to be abit of an obsession, i research everything about low fertility and menopause, sometimes in the early hours of the morning. I doubt i will have another child but how can i escape this awful feeling of emptiness and move on with life and be happy.

Sorry to hear that. Sounds like you are having tests, have they suggested any treatments?

It took me 7 years to conceive my only child and in my late 30's. a horrible journey. Those endless months of trying - I used a CBFM for 36 consecutive cycles etc!

Have you been to a fertility clinic. Most private ones do free open evenings. Not saying to go private or to have assisted fertility but they answer questions for free!!

Stick with it! If you've had tests hopefully your Dr can give you some advice on how to improve things. There are a lot of books around about infertility and the options that may be relevant to you. Try Zita West, she is generally acknowledged to be good. Don't give up hope until you've tried every avenue you are prepared to. But at the same time try not to let it take over your life, easy to say but try and appreciate the children you have and not just consider the one that may or may not come.

That sounds a bit rubbish but I can understand to some degree how you feel. My dh and I have one older child each (adults now both of them). When we got married we tried for a baby and luckily had dd quickly. However we have now been trying for another for nearly 3 years with no hint of success. We are under the fertility Drs and its looking increasingly unlikely we will. I'm very slowly adjusting to the idea that this is it but it hurts, a lot. Good luck..