totally I am in the Netherlands so it's a bit different here. I'm sorry you are having such a struggle. I went originally to my very wonderful gp in the UK and I had a psychiatric assessment within 3 weeks. It took a while before that and a crap gp and even worse CBT therapist who made me even more unwell though. After I ended up in hospital my Dutch husband had enough and bought me straight back here.
The process was similar. I went to the gp with what my UK gp had said then I was referred to a psychiatric nurse for an initial conversation. Then to a doctor but they were a short term intervention unit. Then I went to the head honcho psychiatrist at the community clinic who sent me off to be tested for BPD as I was not a clear cut case of bipolar 1 and they hate giving out drugs here if there is the slightest chance you don't need them!
It took ages for my psychological assessment and we had to nag and nag for the appointment. I was able to keep seeing the nurse though for support. Then I got my assessment and she said she was. 95% sure I was bipolar but because of my history I also had traits of BPD that would need psychological treatment. I was a complex case and they needed to decide where I would get treatment as I may have needed to go to a specialist unit.
Then it took ages and ages again before I went back to the psychiatrist and in between I had to have more assessment and the same questions asked over and over again by the assessment team. This time too the woman spoke no English so my husband had to translate. It was pretty difficult. But finally I got to my psychiatrist and started treatment December last year. To get there was a year.
He wanted me to see a psychologist as when he was initially seeing me many of my issues were around the BPD rather than the bipolar. I had a mc in that time as well which made me worse. It took about another five months before I started seeing the psychologist and I see her now mostly once a week. It's nice because I was stressed that it would be like 8 sessions and out the door but she said no we will take as long as we need.
It took a lot of nagging which was stressful and hard when all you want to do is get an explanation. My DH did most of it so I was lucky to have his support. Have you tried going back to your gp and explaining the situation? You should not be sitting there with an unclear diagnosis that can't be helping you get better. Bipolar and BPD are not the same and require completely different treatments!
I have not told my employer of course, but by law in the UK they do have to give you time to go to appointments. I lied at my last job in the UK and also here, and said I was having regular blood tests (ironic as I now have to with bipolar and hypothyroidism!) and just made up my hours elsewhere in the week. I did tell them about the psychologist though but couched it in terms of getting therapy for my mc and that I was struggling after my divorce 3 years ago. Is that an option for you to get flexible hours to attend appointments?
It's so hard isn't it :( we have perfectly legitimate reasons to need time off for our illnesses but because of the stigma attached we would suffer if we were honest about it. Living with bipolar is like living with any chronic illness and it needs managing.