Not feeling so great

[Messupmum]

I feel really odd but I can't explain it. I can't ring anyone as I don't know how to describe how I feel. I just feel so low, and unable to do anything. The hours are going by and I'm getting nothing done, but it doesn't feel like I've done nothing. That makes no sense, but nothing is making sense. All I've done is make a sandwich, but even that felt like I was doing it all wrong.

I want to talk to someone as I know I'm not too good, but I'm not sure if I am or not. My mind keeps going blank. I keep having dark thoughts and urges. This is horrible.

can you go and see the gp for blood tests just to check thyroid ferritin and folates
could be a simple deficiency easily solved with supplements
if not it will be a good chance to talk things through with the gp

Sorry I should have said I have a diagnosis of bpd, depression and anxiety. I'm under the cmht, on ad's and having therapy. So feel a bit of a failure for feeling like this and feel like there's no point anymore.

Feel so bad, sorry

Hi Messupmum.
You have posted on mumsnet before havent you?

Your post does sound as if you are not feeling well.

How long have you felt bad recently. Just today or for a few days?

I have posted before, lots sorry

I felt this coming, suppose I was due a 'crash'. But didn't expect to suddenly feel so bad. Nothing has happened to cause this. Don't want to sleep, eat, see anyone and go from feeling flat and emotionless, to crying.

I have been having strong urges, I keep forgetting dd is here. I feel very detached and distant.

No worries about posting a lot. That is the beauty of mumsnet. Someone is always about.

I think I am right in saying that you are supposed to contact cmht in emergencies.
I think you need to do that right now.

I presume you have their details?

I don't forget she's here when she's awake, I've fed, bathed her, read stories. But this evening I keep feeling like I'm not here, then having to remind myself she's upstairs. I want to run away, not be here so badly.

Cmht are ringing me in the morning, but I'm treated like a typical bpd patient, not taken seriously. I don't know what to do. I haven't moved for four hours, I feel frozen to the spot. I think I'm scared

Are there any other adults in the house? If I am thinking of the right poster, you have older children?
Dont answer that btw, if you dont want to. I dont want you to out yourself.

No one else here. I need to get to bed if I can. Feel like my body and mind has been taken over, I don't know who I am anymore.

I am partly bumping as others on here know more than me.

What have you been told to do in an emergency?
Have you been told to ring 999?

I don't feel it's that urgent, for now. I've got to bed- fully clothed but that's all I can manage. I feel so sad for dd, what future does she have with me here or not here. I'm actually getting tired. I hope I sleep forever Cmht won't do anything tomorrow, I'm on my own with this.

Glad you have got to bed. Fully clothed wont matter.
Just lying there and resting is perfectly fine.

I am glad cmht are ringing in the morning.

Sounds like a tough night. It is ok to have a bad night, dd is safe in bed and hopefully you will be soon too.

You can always post of here, phone Samaritans/text/email them to offload.

CMHT not open 24/7 so a ring from them tomorrow is not far away. Can you plan some things tomorrow to help - like say to yourself it is ok to have a duvet morning once dd in school? Or set yourself one small goal to achieve and then a nice reward ( file nails/magazine read/tv prog/nice shower - whatever is a treat for you!!)