So, after having one of many arguments with my mum i've come to realise that she may have BPD. This isn't a professional diagnosis ,but from me searching on the internet, forums etc...
My mum is like 2 different people. I remember it when I was younger but never thought too much about it as it was more aimed at my dad. She had her moments with us (me and siblings) but for some reason we just let it go. Anyway, since then i've moved out and in with my partner and had several kids. She's been coming round regularly for the past few years and have had very limited arguments.
Recently there's been a few big changes in her life which have gone successfully but has turned her into Jekyll and Hyde! She's a friendly, bubbly, non-judgemental and very outgoing. However ,if something starts her off then she turns into someone completely different. She'll chuck anything she doesn't agree with in peoples faces (even though she had no problem with it before) and become very personal and angry. She's never been violent to me (except for when I was younger), but suspect she has to my dad. Someone is either amazing or scum in her eyes, there's no happy medium. She get's very paranoid and if someone shows any sign of disagreeing with her or not looking absolutely thrilled to see her she'll take it personally and hold a grudge.
She gets jealous if other people are seen as better as her or take her friends ,families time - for instance heaven forbid if my partners parents spent more on our kids or did something with them that she hadn't done. She's also the same with friends if i get too close to someone. She won't do anything new as she hates change and her week is very routine. If i cancel anything last minute then there's pretty much guaranteed silent treatment from her, and whoever i'm cancelling with her to go out with will be seen negatively to her. Even if it's my partners children or ,partner himself. She holds a grudge (as my dad knows only too well!) and treats him like crap. And wonders why recently he was caught talking to other women online - not sexually, just everyday conversation. She'll also get over confrontations after a few hours BUT will feel embarrassed so keep it up. Her tantrums resemble that of a teenager ,and is very defensive.
It's got to a stage where i've developed anxiety and depression (have a earlier post on here somewhere). I'm more than certain BPD is what my mum, and suspect it's what my grandad, her dad, had. I've also shown signs of it in the past but think seeing how my mum's attitude affects everyone else i've become adament that I won't turn out the same, and trying CBT etc...
Would anyone like to share their experiences? Either someone who suffers from it ,or someone who has a family member with it? Any happy endings? What have you found that's worked, or if it's you suffering from it, what helps diffuse the situation?