should I let her know I know she has depression

[albatros]

I have just found out from a friend, another friend has got depression, she has been signed off work and has apperantly suffered with it before. She has never spoken to me about it or seemed as if she has it.
I think it is due to her dd who had a very tramatic birth 2 years ago and possibly has problems arising from this, though again she has never said anything to me.
I suffered what I know recognise as PN depression 6 months after the birth of dd2 who was in scbu for a time and got myself in quite a mess. Her dd was in scub and she herself was in intensive care after the birth.
should I tell her I know she has depression and offer to help in any way I can even if it is just listenning or should I leave her to tell me if she wants to. She doesn't know I had depression.
I wish the friend who told me hadn't in a way as she broke my other friends confidence and now I feel like I should do something but if she is dealing with it I do not want to upset her futher. She has a very supportive family around her who I am sure are taking good care of her.

From the perspective of someone who had PND and suffers with depression, I'd say don't say anything. If she wants you to know, she will tell you - it would have mortified me if someone had come along and said they knew I was ill. It sounds as if she has supportive friends and family around her, which will help - but if she's anything like me, she needs to chose the people she tells herself.

Wigwambam Thanks, I know you are right and I felt the same myself however I feel helpless and would like to help if needed, maybe if I get the chance I will mention to her DH that I had PND which I am sure he will pass on then she can speak to me if she thinks it will help.
Why is depression so stigmatised and people are unable to talk about it

That's a good question - I don't think there's a good answer to it though!

For me it wasn't the stigma that made me want to keep it to myself, although part of it was that I didn't want to appear weak - and I thought that people would think that of me. I know my mother would have done, and I'm pretty sure that a lot of people would have just told me to pull myself together - which is the least helpful thing you can say. I thought that people would treat me differently if they knew, would maybe feel sorry for me or pity me, and that's not what I wanted or needed. I needed life to carry on as normal around me, because if people had started making allowances for me I would probably have lost it even more than I did. I didn't need people pussyfooting around, wondering if they were saying the right thing or not; that would have made me feel even more depressed, I think.

I didn't want to talk about it because I felt that people wouldn't know what to say, and it would embarrass them. The few people I told are people who also suffer with mental health problems, so I knew they wouldn't stammer out a platitude and run away as quickly as they could!

Your friend probably wants you to carry on treating her as if nothing is wrong - it was easier for me to cope that way and I think that's quite a common reaction.

Could you prehaps mention in casual conversation that you suffered from depression and see her reaction?