Am I the only one?

[Confuseddotcom]

I have been feeling under the weather for a long time now, not sure if it started directly after having my DD (16months) but it has been getting worse just lately.

I feel so stressed all the time. Little things make me what to scream, cry or chuck something I get so so annoyed so times and I shout at my poor DD and then feel guilty straight away and cry!

I am up and down constantly so I decded I had to bite the bullet and go to the doctors. So yesterday I went and she has put me on anti depressants and changed my contraceptive pill to see if it helps. I start my AD today but I am really aprihensive I have never had to take anything like this before and to be honest in a wy I feel like I am failing as mother by taking them.

why cant I cope on my own? Why do i need pills?

My long suffering DH tries to understand but he doesnt. I just need to know Im not the only out there who feels likes this.

Sorry for the waflle!

Hello confused, i know just how yu feel, i've been resisting taking AD for months now because like you i've never needed them before and i hate the fact that i can't lift myself out of this on my own. I said i was going to start taking them last night and didn't as i keep hoping that i'll wake up and be back to my old self again. But i'm not so i will start taking them. I hate the thought of doing it but the thought of feeling this unwell for another year is worse.
Your not the only one to feel this way and you won't need the AD's forever. I don't know about you but i feel like i've been treading water for so long and i'm too tired now to swim to the side so hopefully the AD's will help pull me up.

Confuseddotcom,

You are definitely not alone. It is so difficult being a mum and a wife. It can be very stressful and you shouldn't feel like a failure. I know how you feel. I just long for a break and I feel hopeless and tired.Sometimes I feel so awful that I just want to drop out of life and just disappear never to be seen again. I shout at my Ds as well and I feel guilty about it but I don't think that makes us bad mothers. I think perhaps we're overwhelmed. Try the pills and see how you feel. If they don't agree with you then perhaps you can try counselling. If you are feeling this way again please post another message. A chat is always good therapy.

You are so not alone, confuseddotcom. I'm impressed that your doctor also changed your contraceptive pill as well as the ADs. It sounds like she's quite clued-up. I've found the Pill can make me much more down.

Well done on going to the doctor - it's very difficult to make that first move. I was so scared at first and really worried about the tablets, but they do help. Being a mum and a wife is really hard at times - I imagine you probably set yourself very high standards and think you 'ought' to be able to do such and such etc.

There are lots of us on here who know exactly what you're going through, so please don't feel alone.

And you are MOST CERTAINLY NOT FAILING as a mother! It was very very brave to go and ask for help - you have done the best thing possible for your family by doing that, which makes you a very good mother indeed in my book.

Sending you lots of hugs and well wishes.

Oh - and be patient with yourself too. The tablets can take a long time to work, and the effect is subtle, but it should help in time.

Thank you to all of you for your kind and helpful words.

I have started the ADs and am hoping that they will help. I feel abit better now that I know I am actibely doing something to help myself so hopefully when they kick in I will be back to my old self.

Tub- you are so right with the treading water thing that is exactly how I feel

I know deep down that I am a good mum I just can help feeling that I should be able to cope on my own with any medical aids. But I keep teling myself its just temporary. I wont need them forever and I will be back to my old self in no time.

I am glad I am not the only one. I dont feel like such a crazy person now!