16 years ago when i was 2 my mum had an affair on my step-dad with a man who we will call pete. 8 years later he re-appeared and it happened all over again. now 8 years on again he is back on the scene. i don't even remember it happening when i was 2, when i was 10 i remember him being around, but i didn't really understand the seriousness of it and it didn't bother me although i knew he was more than "mummy's friend." my sister who was 15 at the time kept telling me not to like pete, but i didn't really understand why. i thought he was nice - he played games with me!now at 18 i know exactly how my sister felt.
now if my mums not happy with my step-dad so be it. but in my opinion she can't have it both ways. she either splits up with him and has pete or she stays with him and doesn't have pete. what makes it worse is my step-dad knows all about it and he still cares about her and loves her and us so much he wouldn't even consider leaving us.
pete is not even a nice man. he doesn't like children - hence he had worked out i was 18 and all grown up so got back in touch. what he didnt bank on was me having a 2 week old son in the equation. he is originally from turkey and wants to move back there in 10 years to retire. he is very selfish and does everything for himself and no one else. he likes everything his way and thinks he can go around telling women what to do. my mum ont heo ther hand adores children and family is everything to her. she too likes herown way and won't let anyone tell her what to do. she usually tells people what to do! so as i'm sure you can all see - it will not last. he will get bored and disappear again and i can't believe she's willing to throw it all away for something that will end up being nothing.
it breaks my heart watching my stepdad at home while shes out with him. he has poor health (3 heart attacks, diabetes, angina, arthritis) and should have retired by now but he works to the bone to keep us all and how does my mum repay him. he is so lovely and no way would pete ever compare and i can just see us all ebing left with nothing. i don't trust him at all. his visa is up in 2 years and i'm not convinced all this isn't a ploy to get her to marry him so he doesn't have to back to turkey yet. then he will prob divorce her and sell our house under our feet.
also my mum is suposed to be looking after my son a few days a week while i am at uni. i can't see pete agreeing to that - so then i won't be able to go. i'm really scared i am going to end up living alone cos she will go and live with him and i'm not sure i could cope on my own yet.
i hate the fact she can't see she is being stupid in thinking about throwing everything away. i have been so miserable today to be made a lot worse by the HV. i was very upset and didn't want her to see me like that cos as i am a young mum i knew she would think i wasn't coping and i was scared she would make me a case for concern so i asked mum to say i wasn't very well. the midwife then turned up (who is MUCH lovelier than the HV) and the HV demanded that the MW come upstairs to see me. i'm sorry but what right does she have telling other people what to do in MY house. anyway as it happened i didn't mind the MW coming to see me as my mum couldn't very well say well she'll see the MW but not you cos she doesn't like you. anyway when i came down i received a lecture saying my ds was my responsibility and i had to face up to it and all mums found it hard at 1st and i had to pull myself together - really encouraging words of advice ... not. especially since mum had said i was having a few problems but they weren't baby related. why do HVs never listen?
Not only that but this explains problems i am having feeding my son.
and to top it all baby's dad wil not accept he is the father and has refused to have a DNA test to prove it that i offered to pay for. didn't want to get CSA involved but have now had to cos he won't cooperate. stupid really - gonna cost him way more this way!he's naming every tom dick and harry as the father including my best friend chris (who funnily enough is suposed to be a friend of his too. duno about u but i don't go round spreading rumours about my friends!)who has been fantastic.
i still get upset that me and chris can't be together. at xmas we had a thing and we both wanted to be together but he felt it was too complicated with me being pregnant - it was too weird for him and also there a lot of our friends against it. well mine aren't anymore but his still are. not that it matters now cos he has got a gf. silly pathetic me still has hopes for when and if they split up. he has admitted in the past he used me but we r so so so close now, but i feel bad cos i know i have distnaced myself to try and get over him. it has worked but i still have moments where i find myself in tears. all he keeps saying is i told u to get rid of him. how does he think that makes me feel when i look at him and hold him every day. i haven't a clue how i will tell him why he doesn't have a father and i am so scared about the effect it will have on him.
i'm sure you're all thinking what there's more?!this explains one other thing that i am worried about.
sorry to have kept you all so long just needed to get it off my chest cos i feel i cant tell chris a lot of this cos i'm guessing it gets tiring listening to someone tell you how muh they love u and need u when you have a gf!he's my best friend and i dn't have anyone else to tell