Why do I feel so sad?

[EricNorthmansFangbanger]

I just don't know what's up with me lately. I have almost constant feelings of dread and I'm emotional with everything.

I dont have any friends and it's a struggle to sleep/get up/be bothered. I'm tired and grumpy pretty much all of the time and I just feel like I'm not really me. Though I don't really know who the real me is. I look at pictures or updates of what people are doing on my facebook feed and they're out living life. I've never really had any friends to go and do that with. I'm currently a SAHM, so there aren't even any work do's. I am waiting to hear back on a part time job interview I had last week, but I would be working in an office all by myself and although I would love to be going out to work I just feel that it would make the way I'm feeling worse, as I'd just be spending all day by myself.

DC3 is 8 months old and wakes a lot in the night. I'm still bf so I'm the one who gets up and night after night of hardly any sleep is really getting to me. I have no other proper adult interaction of a day other than my husband. I feel like I'm letting my DC down, I dont have any energy to go out to toddler/baby groups after dropping off DC1 at primary school. We dont have a lot of money, we've got problems with mould in our house, I'm taking my driving test for the 3rd time on Friday and I just want to cancel it as I dont think I'm going to pass.

I am thankful I have three healthy children and I should be happy that we're getting by, but I can't seem to pull myself together. I just want to sit and have a good cry. I worry all the time about a lot of things. I'm sorry that I'm rambling, I just need to get this out somewhere

Have you told your OH how you are feeling? I think you should make an appointment with your GP, there are lots of ways of dealing with this and making you feel better, don't struggle on alone xx

1. you are a cool human (never forget this)
2. ANYTHING can happen if you decide you actually want it to
3. rally the people around you to HELP you - you deserve some help and once you start asking in an honest way you will probably be AMAZED at how much help you get...
4. GET OUT AND ABOUT - no joke babe, if you sit at home feeling sorry rather than slipping off to the market with an "I want to meet people" attitude then some of this will be your own fault.

GET GOING and you will very quickly find that the world starts to smile at you.

Thank you both for replying.

I have tried to talk to DH in a roundabout way. When I've been frustrated I've said that I'm struggling to cope, but he's never really asked/delved and I've not pushed it. We both have previous experience of depression and I have had PND after DC1 and DC2. I think it makes him uncomfortable to talk about it. To be honest it does for me too. I know I should make a GP appointment. I tend to try put on a front or not explain how it really is. I dont like people to think I'm not coping, even when I know I'm not and that I could do with help iykwim?

Mini, I understand what you are saying. My problem is that I'm not keen on letting my family know what's wrong. The only people who know about my previous PND are my DH and my GP. I put on a front to others. I dont feel as though I've got anything in common with anyone. In RL I am shy and reserved. I know I need to change but dont know how to.

There is a quote which says the best way round is through. Although taking the steps to deal with your feelings is hard, it really will be the fastest way to feeling better.