have you taken anti anxiety meds and did it help?

[russdb]

Hi, I'm a new user. I'm male 36 with a 5 year old girl and 3 year old boy. Both have caused massive stress on our relationship. Just found out my fiance slept with a work colleague. We have talked about it and we are trying to work through it. Its caused me to have massive anxiety though and sex is non existant. Has anyone taken anti anxiety meds? Can you describe you feelings before and after. Its hard for me to talk to people about it. Feel a little emasculated. Cheers

You could see your GP and discuss medication (I take Citalopram for anxiety) but I think you be far better off finding a decent psychotherapist or counsellor as your anxiety is very much related to a traumatic event and ongoing difficulties. It's not normally available on the NHS as they focus on CBT, but you really sound like you need some space to process. My husband benefitted enormously from therapy even though he found it hard going at first.

Also buy a copy of the book 'Just good friends' it helped me immensely when I was the hurt party regarding infidelity.

I've taken them. Helped massively! I was on them for a year and had side effects (including sex related one) but it helped a lot.

You should probably discuss it with your gp though. I went on them because my anxiety was ongoing and was about something specific. Im not sure if that's the right thing for you seeing as your issue is your wife being unfaithful.

It must hurt a terrible amount Im sure

So your sex related side effect was unable to get an erection? To be fair the infidelity has caused me to be not very sexual and that is causing the anxiety. Feel so lost at the mo. Me and partner have spoke about it and I forgive her if I'm honest. Just the betrayal I'm finding hard to deal with and comparisons during sex are on my mind.

So your sex related side effect was unable to get an erection? To be fair the infidelity has caused me to be not very sexual and that is causing the anxiety. Feel so lost at the mo. Me and partner have spoke about it and I forgive her if I'm honest. Just the betrayal I'm finding hard to deal with and comparisons during sex are on my mind.

I bet they are! Poor you.

No it didn't stop erections . . . Im female, it made it very difficult to orgasm. My husband has been on the same ones (an ssri) and he had the same trouble. Could get erections fine, just hard to come. It did seem to be getting better as time went on though.

So not having sex is making you anxious? Do you feel pressure to "perform" to prove to her you are better? Sorry if Im wrong, that's just how it sounded.

She needs to build up your trust and love again. I don't think i would feel comfortable with sex with my partner after an affair or one night stand or whatever. I wouldn't be able to relax and stop myself thinking of the two of them together.

Not sure how you get passed it. Slowly probably. Counselling? (have heard that relate tend to blame the one who has been cheated on rather than the cheater which i completely disagree with, so not sure i would go there, but there are others that specialize in couples counselling i believe)