OCD or Asperger’s

[AnnieXiety]

Can anyone shed any light on whether I should be concerned.

DS (3yrs) -
Likes to have everything in its "right place" - ie once finished playing certain toys are put back, others he is happy to leave all over the floor
Is inconsolable if part of a normal routine doesn't happen
If going somewhere but a different route, screams in the car
Everything has an order
Excellent memory
Doesn't like having dirty hands - quite content playing in the mud/or baking, but as soon as play is over, needs to wash his hands or we have a full meltdown.
Washing Machine - powder has to go in first. He came in after I had done the powder, so only saw the softener going in - got quite upset, had to show him the powder was already in there.

These are just examples.

It isn't constant - for example, only certain toys have a correct home.

My fear is it is learned behaviour - but I am not that tidy. My OCD relates to security (ie Windows locked plugs out etc).

Should I leave him be, and stop worrying or should I be looking for support to ensure it (whatever it is) doesn't grow into something more which negatively impact him.

I have a son who is now 12. As an infant, he needed things to be "just so". It continued into his toddler years and then throughout the "terrible twos". He too would go ballistic if I took a certain route/did my hair differently, wore patterned tops or made him wear logo tops. It was difficult finding plain clothing for a boy of that age! I knew he was different.

He was diagnosed with autism aged 4 after two full years of assessment. His diagnosis now is Aspergers. He is bright and articulate but has continued to need things in a certain order/routine and was diagnosed with OCD at 10 yrs old. It's just how he is. He's really well at the moment but must take (and I had a hard time accepting this) Prozac (a weeny dose) every day.

It may be that your son is a child who needs his routines and is just pedantic about how he likes "stuff to be". It may be something else. Only time will tell. I think you might feel better if you seek some help/guidance from your GP. As you say, if he does need additional help in the future, it's best to seek it sooner, rather than later.

He is your son. You know him better than anyone. If you feel concerned I am sure you would be doing the right thing in getting it addressed.

I will add one thing.

I was told repeatedly, by my (now) ex husband, the professionals, friends etc that there was "nothing wrong" with ds. But, I was the one who was "living" it. I was the person who was there, morning noon and night and I knew.

Years later, my son was able to tell me why, as a 3 yr old he would make me cross the road when we walked past a certain building in town. There was a red flag atop the building and he hated red. Red balloons, red clothes, red anything. "It was just so utterly scary mum, having to walk past that red, flying tongue. I just wanted to get past it as quickly as possible, before it flew at me". Of course, he wasn't able to articulate it then, as now.