Exhaustion or depression?

[batterylow]

Lots to be depressed about, bad relationship issues and a child with stressful medical issues but I have been feeling anxious and very up and down since having my second child, before that really but worse since and the paranoia is the worst to deal with.

I feel better after getting sleep but her sleeping has always been dreadful and a year and half in she is still waking at least four times a night, sometimes more and I only ever get sleep in two hour stretches even with dh taking turns with me.

Going for a walk in a min which should help, going to nap when she does if I can but often I am unable to due to worrying, I spend social occasions worrying people don't like me and just have lost all confidence. Am on St. John's wort but worry I should be on anti depressants have had them before but am very anxious about gaining weight.

Could this just be down to sleep?

it sounds like you have a lot to cope with.

Good sleep is vital to feeling healthy, physically and mentally. You do sound exhausted and that in turn can lead to anxity and depression, especially, as you say, you have a lot to be depressed about.

Lack of sleep is used as a form of torture, which shows just how serious it is.

Certainly go to the GP and say what you've said here. Maybe it would help if you wrote it down. In the meantime, can anyone else help you to give you a break?

Thank you. Feel tearful just thinking about the Gp and hate appearing weak as I always stay incontrol about the medical stuff. But I know that's a poor excuse and its more about me not having the energy to motivate myself.

Are there any anti depressants that don't cause weight gain? The anxiety after I had my first was horrendous but because of the genuine risk of losing them I focused on health stuff whereas this time it is all about me and people not liking me, hating my body etc etc.

On the help front, I do get a lot of support and dh shares night time if I wake him up but I struggle to relax so every time I am woken it takes a while to settle again or thoughts of all our problems creep back in. I am generally ok in the day but evenings I get very down, always been like that so I guess that shows how much tiredness plays a part.

I don't know if antidepressants cause weight gain, but I do know that lack of sleep is likely to lead to weight gain.

Of course you are not appearing weak. You have a lot to cope with, and you have had to be very strong to a long time and that is taking a toll on your own health.

Yes the sleep thing definitely makes me crave sweet stuff/carbs.

I will try to get a phone appointment I think. May be easier by phone and also would take weeks for an appointment at the surgery (I know as dh had to make a phone appointment and even that isn't for a week or so) .maybe the doctor could just give me something that would calm me down a bit in the evenings if such a thing exists.

I think anti depressants do tend to make people gain weight, I certainly lost weight when I came off them last time but then maybe that was that particular brand.

Thank you for answering anyway, will get off for a walk and come back later, see if it helps a bit.

Definitly make that appointment. I think talking therapy might help you as well, maybe ask the GP if that is a possibility.

Thanks will do. In fact, should have said I had cbt and hypnotherapy after my dh had an affair earlier in the year. Also couple counselling and it did help a bit, just think I am still left feeling horrible about myself which although I know is not rational, can't help but feel it and now assume people can tell I have issues or something and full of self doubt about my choices (having not made the best choices re a dh who didn't stray!!)

Thank you, had a walk and a chat on the phone to a good friend which has helped but still feeling down about weight etc. will phone gp soon but haven't yet.

Will look into those books, so far have just read a relate book which made me feel worse but I think I need something general about managing anxiety.

battery I haven't read your whole thread, but do know from personal experience that sleep deprivation long term can result in genuine PND. The paranoia and anxiety you mention could be symptoms.

Sorry, I don't know how much ADs might help with sleep-deprivation-linked PND as I wasn't diagnosed for four years but the PND didn't go away until I took meds. (What I mean is - the sleep deprivation probably caused severe PND but then even once DS2 was sleeping through, the PND stayed and I needed meds to clear it.)

It was lovely not to feel paranoid all the time, and lovely to be able to sleep when tired instead of being too anxious to sleep, so despite their big downsides 9fatigue, weight gain) I was really glad of ADs and got back to normal emotionally on them.

HTH

Thank you both. I don't know if its the depression talking but my self esteem can't take any more weight gain. After what dh did its in tatters as it is. But I know I need to do something if that makes sense. The other factor is that I am on St. John's wort, quite a high dose (read up on how much is prescribed in other countries and take that amount) and I think it can interact with ads so I would need to be off them a while first which scares me.

Or maybe I am just feeling I can't do anything to sort this because of my state of mind. Both my children are up tonight, stupid fireworks. It promises to be a really bad night although dh has said he will sort the youngest out which is generally the main thing.

I found I gained weight on citalapram but not on Sertraline. Both prescribed for anxiety so hope you get to your GP and good luck.

Thank you and that is good to know. I wonder if its a bit like the pill and its just finding the right one.

I didn't gain weight on fluxatine infact side effects van trigger predisposition anorexia but it can also cause insomnia!

It sounds horrendous getting just 2hr sleeping slots, I do sympathise with u as I suffer great sleeping difficulties.

Have you thought about yr child been seen by a sleep clinic, theremaybe some type of sleeping issue with yr child, if yr child's sleep could be rectified then u would also benefit.

Thanks, I honestly think life would have been very different if she had been a better sleeper . The relationship issues would never have got so bad and I would have had the energy to get help even if I had been depressed still. It's extreme bad sleeping, last night was every ten to twenty minutes for a few hours! Dh did last night though so I heard at a distance. I don't know of a sleep clinic near us , I would consider it definitely. Think the problem is partly we have jumped to her v quickly always so as not to wake the oldest whose illness gets worse when tired. So now she thinks its normal to be up half the night. She is tired though, often screaming with her eyes shut.

Insomnia doesn't sound pleasant, do they give you something to help with sleep as well?