Who's best to help me with all this pls?

[Quacks]

I will try and be brief but I basically have had several miscarriges, then after having a baby had severe postnatal depression and it took ages to come out of it.
I work on our local maternity ward and in the last week we have lost a Mother who just gave birth and in a separate incident a set of twins. It seems to have had a huge effect on me and I cried for 3 days solid after the Mother died, I've not stopped since the twins died.
I have been getting more detactched in the last week, not going through school gates, letting house go, no shopping in. Feeling down, not sleeping and over eating.
My DH yesterday was great and hugged me lots, but I threw it back in his face and said I don;t want to be alive anymore, I feel I'm no good to anyone. What's the point, life can be taken away at any point so if I distance myself from him, I might not get hurt. Our marriage hasn;t been the best lately and we don;t have a sex life really.
Who would be best to help me? I felt last night I didn't want to be here anymore, not as strongly today but feel so down.
Thank you

Ok, you REALLY need to go to your GP and also your line manager to be referred to staff health.
They will offer a councelling service for free and there will be little or no waiting time for this as there may be through the GP.
PLEASE PLEASE go and talk to one of these, this is severe depression IMHO and you need to get the help that you deserve.

im so so sorry that you are feeling like this. it is totally understandable from what you have described though!

if you have a nice gp, that is always a good place to start as they are supposed to be a gateway to a whole host of services.

at least, it might be a good idea to get signed off work for a bit. do you think you have unresolved feelings about your miscariages that the recent deaths have triggered? i wish you could try to open up to your dh - it really sounds like he wants to be there for you. let him. xxxxx

ooh sorry to hear that youre feeling so down.. its sounds like you've got depression as youre still grieving cos of your miscarriages (sorry not got any personal experiences).....

have you had any time off work as your job is not the place you need to be in right now as youre still trying to get over your miscarriage and also having to cope the other losses too as part of your job. Can you take time off? eg be on sick?

You are a very brave woman - VERY brave!

also have u been to see your docs about your depression? as if not then PLEASE make an appointment as you possibly needs counselling too to help you to come to terms with your miscarriages.

Thanks so much for your responses! The miscarriages were ages ago. Well 3 yrs ago. I took it hard then and again after having a baby. Things have been rocky since although GP gave me anti depressants which did work and I gradually came off them about a yr ago. We do not have a very supportive hosiptal for these things. I was told off for crying yesterday at work after I was told the twins had died, so no help there. They have an attitude of 'it's the job, deal with it'
Do I go to the GP routine or ring up today. They might think I'm a bit daft doing it today. Not really urgent is it. Poor DH has gone to work and I've told him all sorts. He said to go to bed and sleep. He isn;t always the best to talk to for little things but for big things he's great, but I just thorw it back at him. Feel bad for him.

Quacks - well it sounds URGENT to me as youre saying to your DH that you dont wanna live anymore and that is summat serious. Please dont feel daft as pls ring your docs TODAY

ive got depression and im on ADS too since December but ive got mild depression that ive had for many years for unknown reason but i always wanna see the future and be alive to see my kids grow up too

Exactly, I wonder if I say it to get attention? Don;t know as I was on internet looking at it. I think I don;t really want to end my life, just what's in it. Maybe I need a change of direction. Maybe it's too close to the bone working on maternity ward. I can;t bring home evry death to my own family, we have enough to worry about. I'm sorry you don;t know the cause of your depression biglips.

Quacks

If you don't get to the GPs, you could contact Cruse, the bereavement counselling service atwww.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/. Three years ago is not ages ago, for coming to terms with your losses. and at work for not offering you more support. If you have to come face to face with death at work they should have support structures in place for you. The people at Cruse are lovely and will understand where you are coming from. You can email their helpline on the website to find out what support they can offer you.

Best wishes