Depression and promiscuity

[Crawling]

I was raped as a teenager and acted out by becoming promiscuous. Everytime I'm depressed those old feeling are stirred up and I want to sleep around (I haven't btw).

When I do it I feel attractive alive and loved but afterwords I just feel anger regret and guilt. But I still do it be cause normally I feel so numb and devoid of emotion feeling anything is a blessing. I'm severely depressed now and these urges are here how do I deal with them.

It's a vicious circle sometimes. You feel shit so you sleep with someone for a bit of affection and then you feel even more shit.

Try finding something that you enjoy doing that can be used as a distraction and that you get some fulfilment from. I was never a big drinker but I stopped drinking until I had it under control as it tended to make my drive a lot worse.

A big part of it to me is about self love (not literally, but needs must when the divil drives ). If you value and accept yourself, you don't need anyone else's approval or "affection".

Don't beat yourself up about it, its like any other addiction but like all addictions it has a lot of risks attached to it. Would you consider counselling?

Thanks for your reply I've had therapy it gave me more control but I still have the feelings.

I am wondering Crawling if it would be better to post this in chat. And put the subject heading as something like, "I was raped and now I feel promiscous". And then put the same op. If you did choose to repost and put the same subject heading, I dont think you would get many responses, even in chat.

I say this because I dont think you will get many replies over here.
But in mumsnet as a whole, many females seem to have been raped before, and some of them may have felt like you do.

Up to you of course. Just a thought. Obviously I cant be sure that you would necessarily get any more replies, but you might.
hth

I can't really offer much practical support but if it helps I've been there. You ain't alone and it is CRAP. You end up hating them and yourself a little bit more each time but its the only thing you can do to get that sense of control you need and to make it worse you feel like you can't talk to 99.9% of the world about it because it's about the "S" word.

You can change it though - I got help when i got pregnant and didn't have a clue who to. I also got the clap. BUT it was a positive because I had no option but to look for alternatives to coping.

I took up sewing for distraction, got a dog for affection and continued in therapy until I got to the root of the problem. Was damn hard but you'll get there too...

Having the cahoonas to admit to yourself that a) you're promiscuous and b) you're depressed is more than half the battle I found

I hope even knowing you're not the only one makes it a little better x

Trish I may post in chat thank you.

Tillytotter thank you so much for sharing your story it means a lot and it does help to know I'm normal.