Just a little update for those of you that may be interested.
We had the funeral on remembrance day, it went as well as these things can, family and friends cried buckets. My parents are divorced but their partners took a step back and let them be together to hold hands, hug and cry together for their youngest child, which really touched me.
We asked for just family flowers only but donations to MIND if people wanted to, there was almost £200 in the box and my mum has since had more from friends. My mum and myself took them to MIND and they were very grateful, it gave us some comfort.
Life seems strange now, it's only been 3 and a half weeks since she passed but already it feels like she's forgotten, people not mentioning her to me which hurts as all I want to do is talk about her. I've cried everyday bar one (which I felt guilty for ) since the day she died. It does me good, my psychiatrist said to let it all out and has reassured me that it's not my illness causing things I'm doing but grief. He has been so good to me through all this. He has upped my meds and is seeing me fortnightly, I'm seeing cpn weekly so at least I feel like I have a safety net.
My brother is traumatised bless him, he went back to work the week after she died but after the funeral he didn't so was really worried he had lost his job, trouble was he wasn't sleeping, keeps thinking she's walking in his room, picturing the image he saw. I rang his work up and sorted that, I also got him a doctors appointment which he went to, they gave him some sleepers and started the ball rolling for counselling.
Thanks to everyone who posted, xxxxxx