Hi, it seems like you have had the opportunity to try, if not long term, psychiatry, psychologists, counsellors and eating disorders charity work. I t is great it is reduced cost or charity work is free. In UK I can assure you that you would not necessarily get longer, better or more treatment so it is hard for us to suggest anything else. Here in UK if you go private sessions do not stop as they are time limited but due to patient stopping. Here cbt is the initial treatment option given by the NHS, as it has high success rates and is about a person being prepared to make changes in their thinking and life. Maybe the people you have seen have heard your story and think you want to discuss it, in which case cbt would not be recommended?
If the lady you see now is not helping you why not stop seeing? See if it makes any difference? One thing I was told by a very blunt ( but good!!) therapist was " if you always do what you have always done you will always get what you have always got." This lady challenged me, not a kind empathetic lady and left me mid treatment to do other work. Not ideal, not easy but was what I needed to hear, but did not want to. Before then I had been searching for someone to rescue me, be a kind motherly figure to me. What I needed was that shock that my recovery was up to me and only I could do it. The biggest things I learnt was not a step by step toolkit ( does not exist) but:
If I want things to change I cannot keep doing the same things ( so by denying yourself a small, cheap gift from dh you are keeping things the same),
I have to be kind to me ( because people not kind to me in the past I have to show me kindness, up to me to treat me with respect, such as eating healthily, allowing myself to have hair cut etc)
What I am saying is that I had to change how I treat me. In the NHS here no access to a best psychiatrist and certainly not reduced private therapy and limited max of 12 sessions ever) NHS treatment. Perhaps instead of trying to find someone to tell you how to cope or how to deal with feelings you could start with some self help. Perhaps do some journaling to realise what you struggle with and what you could do about it. You mention not allowing yourself to get presents so perhaps start with changing that? I wonder if the reason you not found the right person or treatment is not because it is not there but maybe you are wanting a treatment that does not exist. There are cheap books you can buy about cbt to read and do the tasks alone to see if that model would suit you? There are online cbt courses that you could sign up to as well as another source of help?
Sorry I have written a lot and realise what I have written may not be liked. It is just I once needed someone to tell me that I had to actually make changes myself and if I did not I could not complain to myself that things were stuck or the same. All I was told was to be kind to myself. How can you show kindness to you? It is hard, it is a process. But it is life changing. I cannot change how people treated me in the past but I can change how I treat me now.