Having a terrible day/night please bear with me

[filee777]

Today at uni, class of 15, class is asked to go into groups, breaks into 1 group of 5, 1 of 7 and 1 of 3 (including me and 2 other girls)

Same thing happens again

tutor breaks up class evenly into 5, 2 people from my group move into other group again, leaving 1 group of 3

One girl (from my group) runs out upset. I am told later this is because of weirdness/tension in the group.

I mention to friend who was one of the 'breakers' that I dont really feel very comfortable in the group, this evening on facebook

She gets very angry with me and says that I am making stuff up. I remember what I saw and what I was told by upset girl

Suddenly she is telling me that upset girl is upset for different reason and I am making stuff up.

I am so confused, I dont know what to do, I want to go back to college because I love the work but I feel like it is me that has made people not want to be in even groups.

I feel like i have been told different things, I feel let down by friend who moved groups. I was supposed to be going to her wedding on Saturday and I cannot face it/the thought of it.

I was angry earlier and thought she could get fucked. Now I am so upset.

She is telling me it is my mental health issues, I dont know what to believe, I am so confused and hurt and know that when i go in I will have nowhere to sit and will be to a room of people and I will have to fit in.

I feel like people dont want to work with me.

I have been sobbing and streaming with tears all evening at husband.

He has been very good with me but I am still so upset, tried to go to bed but darkness led to waves of anxiety and crying. Had hug, took 2 valium and half a sleeping tablet.

Now I am on here. I dont know what to do. I could leave the course but I dont want to and i dont know what else i can do.

Appointment tomorrow with doctor, will ask for PROPER psyche referral rather than shitty CBT workshop woman i was put through to last time.

Need help. So confused.

Is anybody there?

Still not feeling very positive/comfortable about things today :(

fileee your having a tough time recently

it sounds to me like childish behaviour if there was no 'actual' reason to move groups- such as different tasks.

I'd be paranoid too,but you shouldn't let it stop you doing something you love:) get dressed in something that makes you feel good get your lippy on and strut in holding your head high.

I hope you got a good nights sleep. just think today is a new day & yesterday could have just been a number of things building up and stressing you & this groups thing was just the straw that broke the camels back.

I hope everything at the doctors goes well & gets you some peace of mind with your MH situation:(

xo

Hi, thanks for replying.

I have uni three days a week and its half term next week. So I dont have to go in until Monday next.

Where will I sit though :( :( I always come in late because I live so far away and I just sit where there is space but it seems that causes me to be a problem for whoever I am sat next to.

The girl I spoke to last night says I am 'making things up' and that is just not true, I showed my husband the communication and he agreed that I wasn't horrible to her at all, just very confused.

I think I would have preferred a bigger uni with more people so that there was not all this crap going on.

She refused to accept that there were bad vibes in the group or discuss the issue yesterday saying she doesn't care.

Its left me feeling really peculiar. I dont know if i can handle going back on Monday :( :(

it should have all have blown over by then :) no one else will probably even think about it even though it will be on your mind probably.

glad your DH is being so supportive.

sometimes the littlest of things feel huge when your feeling 'off', I get bad anxiety also:( it's so crappy. but stick at it. There's always a MNetter to vent the worries too.
always here if you need some kind words

xo

that girl just sounds like she's stirring abit. if she's a friend she should be helping you with your worries and putting your mind at ease.

sometimes adults are worse than kids!
have you tried making friends with anyone else? you mind just find a good'un :)

I know, husband said that.

she was very much 'oh this is irrelevant'

I think i just dont want to know her very well. Today was awful for a few of us i think

if it wasn't just you then don't worry your not crazy

end of term breakdowns it what it shall becalled- I'm sure I few others just went home and broke down too. stressful enough being in UNI never mind with all this am dram going on.

well she sounds like she can stick it

yeah, I am certainly not going to her fucking wedding. Horrible way to treat people. Anyway, I will just go in and do my think, don't think I will bother getting too involved in group work now.

thats 'thing' obviously.

I am feeling a bit calmer today and have a thoroughly bad taste in my mouth about the whole thing.

good:) I don't feel like you were in the wrong.

hope that everything else is all sorted now as well

xo

thanks for talking to me two I've just been up and made an appointment with the Councillor here...
Hoping that will help me work through some stuff.

have found a wonderful little quiet room in the library that nobody here ever uses, its got a little desk that i can spread my books out on, a fully up-to-date computer and no noise from the outside.

its a good place to hole myself away :)

still twoboysundertwo, just name changed.

Your welcome, we are all dealing with our own demons.
Just glad I could be a bit of support.

xo

Do you have a personal tutor who you can talk this through with? It might help, especially if you feel it's affecting how you are at uni

What is the course? Or course area? I only ask because my counselling course was quite emotionally "charged" and there were a few similar incidences, but the staff were very supportive, on the whole

Hi. Group work can be difficult. It probably is true that the girl who ran out has her own issues that are nothing at all related to you or the group and she left due to her own emotional health and upset. I have left rooms crying before which was nothing to do with anyone in the group.

Could you try to ignore such situations, not to ask questions or talk about it afterwards etc? Would that help the situation? I have no idea what is going on but ultimately you are there to study and once you have finished this module/term/year or course you will never have anything to do with them again.

Perhaps smile politely, say little, so the work and leave will help calm things down for you? Well that is how I got through situations I did not know how to respond to.

Can you ask the tutor to assign 3 groups of 5, to mix people up and insist of groups staying how they are? If she wanted groups of 3 she should have asked for 5 smaller groups of 3. Ask out of class or discuss how you should cope with it.

You say you want proper psych referral. Do you mean you want to see a psychiatrist? They generally do diagnosis and medication by your gp could probably do that for you unless gp thinks he wants a consultant appointment. Have you tried university counselling service. They can give real help to issues students face and as you have some specific ones right now to do with course and students they might be better placed than a psychiatrist to advise and support you.

And if there is a bigger uni you can get to then it may be possible t transfer after a semester.