On the edge and need advice/support

[cantsleep]

Things have just got too much.

Dcs all unwell, long term health issues and regular viruses/infections etc.

Housework unmanageable, huge family problems (both sides, mine toxic and dh no contact due to serious issues in the past and an ultimatum from me).

I have severe confidence problems, cannot function in social situations, blush at the slightest thing day in day out and hate the way I look. Have been so tired lately I have got eczema and acne and I feel horrible.

Had a terrible time sat night, broke down and cried from 10pm till 130 am and as a consequence spent all Sunday with ice cubes wrapped in tissue round my eyes as they completely swelled up and I could barely see. I thought it might have been the release I needed but obviously not as I still feel awful.awful like I have never felt before.

The gp keeps suggesting cbt but I explained I cannot get child care, we have so many appts already that I can't doit. I declined anti d but now I'm wondering if they would help lift my mood a little.

I hate talking about it but this time of year is he'll for me and has been for the last 12 odd years as in nov 2000 I had a very traumatic experience which I cannot get out of my head every year and I get more and more upset as the date approaches.

I feel completely ruined. I can't work out where to start I'm just exhausted. I don't feel quite right in myself and it worries me.

Hell not he'll

You have my sympathy as I too crumble every year over a particular date. I also know what you mean about childcare and cbt sessions. It's hard. I honestly think that the gp is right. Medication will help you take the first step, it doesn't have to be a long term thing but might help you out of this tricky patch so you can address everything else. Just tackle one thing at a time.

Please give the medication a go, it may soften the edges so that you feel strong enough to manage in your daily life.

15 years ago I had a nervous breakdown, thanks to a lot of support from NHS etc I am now fully recovered and cannot recognise the person I used to be, but I can remember how bloody awful it all was, so I do know how you feel.

Which part of the country are you in, I do not have a lot of time but would be willing to come round and help a bit with your housework.

I am South Yorks/North Notts border

Hi if you have a child under 5 ask your health visitor to refer you to home start. A volunteer can come for 2 hrs a week, play with your chikdren's while you do your housework etc. they not babysitters in that you stay with them but two hours a week can give you time you need for essential tasks which may help?

I did that a while ago, was assigned a lovely hs lady who came for 3 weeks then homestart here lost funding from the la and shut. I was so upset

Well why not ring your HV and see of any funding available or what there is in your area? There is support and HV is great place to find out what there is for practical help.

Glad for those 3 weeks it was good at least.

Hv Won't even come out to see me anymore, she said they are so busy they are only allowed to do new birth visits at present.

Having a CAF assessment soon due to dds disabilities so I'm hoping that may be the gateway to some extra support. I'm wondering if I start anti depressants then manage to get some help through that things might become a bit easier.

A shame HV so busy. A CAF is a great way to access extra support as it is a written, legal document where you can state what the issues are. What needs your family has and what you all need.

Good luck with that.

You can get online and over the phone CBT on the NHS