Not sure if it's PND. Or is it?

[anka7]

I don't know where to start really..

Most of the time I feel sad and down, I cry at least couple of times a day - I just don't know why, there's seem to be no reason at all.
DP senses there's something wrong with me but whenever he asks I always smile and say I'm tired or just having bad mood at the moment (I never cry in front of him). But it's not that - I feel down most of the days and all day long. I really want to tell him but because I don't understand why I'm feeling like that I don't know what to say!

I feel lonely even when there's people around me. And when they ask how I'm doing I always say I'm fine and everything is going well. I wish I could tell people but I don't know what to say.

Could it be PND? My DD is 9 weeks old, love her to bits and whenever I'm with her, I'm happy. She quite good, if she cries I'm not upset about it and I don't feel tired at all (she sleeps well at nights and I get good rest too).

What's is wrong with me???

Hi Anka,

Sounds like it could be PND. Sharing this with your DP could really help, or with your HV. It is hard to go through these feelings alone.

I understand the feeling of not being able to tell people and putting on a happy face. I hope someone else can give you some good advice.

could also be hormone imbalance as your body recovers.

Have a look at the questionaire.

www.kellymom.com/ppd/ppd-quiz.php

There was another on here somewhere but I can't find it at the moment. Maybe, someone else knows it.

Thank you CADS - I filled this in and that was my result: 'Your low score indicates that you are probably not depressed'

I always been very bad at expressing my feelings, that's why I don't know how to talk to DP or anybody else. I don't actually have any friends or family (except DP's) here where I live, so that doesn't really help me either.

Anka7, you sound alot like me, although, I don't have such a hard time expressing myself and don't cry as much as I use to. I definitely don't think not having any friends or relatives in this country helps my case.

I have always felt lonely. I remember crying for no reason in my teens and my early twenties despite having loads of friends at the time and being out partying most nights. Things improved alot since I got together with dh but started returning when ds was 8mnths. I was very sleep deprived and things got a little bear so I brushed it under the carpet. I think being a SAHM has bought out all the loneliness and low feelings.

I now have two lovely children who I love to bits but still I wonder why I feel this way and even feel guilty.

I sometimes wonder if I am searching for an ideal happiness that doesn't exist and some greater meaning to life. I'm not suicidal by the way. Just keep expecting myself to feel onto of the world.

Actually I did the other questionaire (yesterday) that I mention and my result was "mild adjustment issues".

I have definitely noticed I get more PMS (depressed emotional part of it) since having DS (2.4years) and try to get out and not think too much about it.

Sorry, I'm not much help but don't even know why I feel this way myself.

Sorry to hear that CADS but it's good to know it's not only me who feels that way.

I used to feel like that before my pregnancy too(that's why I don't think it's PND) and now when I think about it - in my teens as well. Lots of crying and sadness and there seem to be no reason for that - I always had loving parents, good friends. Everything looks perfect.

And all those feelings come and go - some days or even weeks are absolutely fine and then it strikes again.

Yes, that me to a T

Let me know if you ever figure out what's wrong with us.