my life is perfect...

[NappiesGalore]

so why cant i just snap out of this uttterllly booooorrring depression crap???

soooooooo lame. am sooooooooo over it!

got counselling appt booked for tues. think having it looming is making it all a bit raw.

am just so bloody bored with this lame shite (i was suicidally miserable for, no joke, 10 years as a kid. from age 10.) i HATE misery-guts people like me!

Nappies - just kept dp from bed because my issues haunt me in much the same way.
My life is also pretty idyllic apart from shit since childhood.
Lets just hope tuesday goes well and that we can climb this crappy mountain and run carefree down the other side {hugs}

yeah. lets hope eh?

heres some hugs for you too.

gotta go to bed. need sleep.

You can't reason yourself out of depression, unfortunately. I've tried. And the people who lay that guilt blame on you of "What have you got to be depressed about? You've got blah, blah, blah to be thankful for, etc." just don't get it. It's a chemical thing, for the most part, although certain circumstances such as job loss and grieving can certainly play into it. But people like us, with chronic, clinical depression just don't handle life in the same way as people who don't have depression. I've finally gotten over feeling guilty that I have to take AD's to feel normal. It's no different than taking meds for high blood pressure. If I don't take them, I run a serious health risk, albeit from myself. When I do take them, I feel normal and can enjoy my life. Of course, therapy is still a big part of my life. Not sure when, if ever, I will feel confident to give it up. It's like physical therapy for my head

Hi jaberwocky- thanks for your post.

just tried to answer and rambled on for ages without making much sense, so i deleted it. best for everyone i reckon .wanted to say thanks to u tho. appreciate your viewpoint.

hang in there. It can and does get better, it just takes time and, many times, medication

i've been on tabs for 3 yrs feel good some days feel super others but can hit rock bottom for no reason at all, saw a counciler did help lots was off work for 18mths but now set up my own bussiness and doing well so dont see counciler any more. at one point couldnt even get out of bed to take kids to school a neighbour offered

Hi I have just joined mumsnet, and hope you don't mind me popping in? Its just I have been in a similar boat. Came to a head last year when my husband (now ex, getting divorced) dropped me off at my nans house for "the support he couldn't give me at that time" after finding out I was pregnant with our son (we have a daughter too, she was 5 months at the time) .... anyway where was I???? Oh yeah he never came back, we haven't seen him since, it will be a year 26th July. Well as you can imagine that made me feel awful, I figured I was going to feel low, trying to rationalise it, but I was sinking lower and lower, even planning how to end my life to the finest detail. I didn't care anymore, didn't see the point of me, thought I was worthless, and thought my daughter would be better off without me a failing mother a pointless person and my unborn son, should never enter this world if all he had was me, it scares me even now looking back at it, I was so close.......... I cant even say it. I had midwife visits, health visitor appointments all the normal things for a pregnant mum of a young baby and it was my health visitor who helped me, I broke down in front of her and within an hour I was with a Dr and then with a therapist, I was having therapy 3 times a week and cannot believe how it changed me. Initially I thought therapy was a waste of time for over dramatic sad people, how very wrong I was. As I said that was nearly a year ago now and we're doing ok. It wasn't all down to my ex husband but that event must have let out some demons I was hiding for nearly 10 years, I still have down days as everyone does, but I look at my little girl (now 19 months) and my little boy (now 5 months) and they make me smile, and going through what I have and feeling as low as I did that is a big deal. Those people who say why are you depressed you've got this that the other to be happy about, think about such and such who hasn't got this or that, I now ignore they tend to be talking out of their bums or in denial, either way life is hard enough without people like that passing judgment on how I feel. Depression is all relative, its how you deal with things that make you feel a certain way, now I just accept my moods if I feel sad I feel sad, if I want to cry I cry, I try not to sit a think about the why's are wherefores I just think I am feeling crap, oh well who doesn't. Although when I am feeling angry I picture my ex huband all sad old bald and lonely ( he is 11 years older than me and shaves his head so nearly there!) and it makes me feel better!!! I'm sorry to have interupted, I hope you don't mind. If ever anyone needs a chat I'll be here in the evenings once the babies are asleep, bless them! Take care all

your one strong woman coping with the two babies on your own you should give yourself a pat on the back i'm gald your coping better now

Ahh thank you!! Life's tough, gotta try hard to see the good bits because they so easily get hidden by all the poo bits!!!

FYY - sending you a big fat kiss. youre a real life hero and no mistake.