I'm one more bad thing away from a breakdown

[FrenchRuby]

These bad things might seem really small but to me they are breaking me. I hate my life. Hate it. I cry everyday, there hasn't been a day in about 6 years where I haven't cried at some point. If I could walk away from everything and start again I would. And I feel awful for saying it but I just feel broken and cheated. Like I must have done something bad in a previous life because every day is a constant struggle against everything just going wrong. And as soon as something goes a little bit right something comes along and just fucks it up.

Sorry for the self woe is me thing but as I said, I am one more bad thing away from having a monumental melt down.

Could you talk to your GP about it?

I don't really know what to say? It's not going to stop things going wr

*wrong, I feel like I'm constantly struggling against bad luck.

Sorry phone posted too soon.

Would you like to talk to us a little about what's going wrong in your life at the moment?

Starting from the beginning?
Being born, having a drug addict mother who decided, when she'd had enough of beating me up, that she'd put me up for adoption.
Being passed from home to home, no one wanting me. I eventually got taken in by a lovely woman.
Failing school
Failing college (both my own fault)
Having babies too young
Failing at being a mum which is probably why my Ds has special needs.
Being a shit wife, which is why we argue all the time.
My Ds is a nightmare, angry all the time, I find it hard to control him, tried everything, all the tricks and tips, been to the dr.
Started uni (great right?) everything from the go went wrong, my application took months at phone calls and stress.
Now I'm having the same with my
Student loan.
Now I find out I won't even be able to complete my degree because (and here's the kicker) I did 120 points at OU just so I could get into uni and that counts as 2 years study.

It all sounds stupid and insignificant but I'm sick of fighting for everything.

I feel really stupid for writing all of that, please ignore it. I feel better this morning (has possible good news about my degree funding). I know there are people with much worse problems than me.

sorry ypur having a bad time i am to at the moment but feel guilty because there are people worse off but we shouldnt think like that there our problems they affect us i am a hypocrite because i wont talk to anyone but maybe your doctor could refrer you to a counsellr x

It's not what life throws at you, but how you deal with it.
Yes, there are people with worse problems than yours, but your problems are what YOU are struggling with, it doesn't make your struggles any less valid because someone else has it worse.
Do you havesupport in rl?
Could you talk to your doctor and your dcs school?

[hugs]

There are different boards on here that you can ask for help with for different problems.
All people have problems from time to time, even thouse households where they seem to have everything worked out.

The special needs board and the education boards in particular could be of enormous help to you.