Feeling down, not sure what to do

[Jaffakake]

I found out some bad news in May - my parents, married for 39 years, are divorcing as my Dad has been seeing someone else for 5 years. My mum has known for 4 years. This was the most left field thing to happen to me & I really had no idea it was coming. Due to the circumstances (far too long & complex to go into here) I felt very very angry & was aware that it was coming to the surface when dealing with my toddler. I'm a lot less angry now but am really very sad about all this & it's coming out in a frequent low mood (when really I have a lot to be happy about!) as well as insomnia & some anxious feelings & lots of unexplained tears.

I chose to visit the counsellor offered by my work & I've been to see him 4 times now. Tbh I'm not sure he's any good! But then again, I've never had counselling before. Anyway, last week he suggested I visit my gp, to talk about how I'm feeling, possibly to see if antidepressants are suitable. I think he may have a point, but the idea does scare me. I'm ok but do recognise I'm very up & down. I also privately wonder if my up & down-ness started much earlier than this problem & is linked to since my son was born. We're all fine & have a great bond & a lot of fun together, but I'm certainly more anxious now than before, but is that just parenthood?!

Should I be scared of taking antidepressants? Any light anyone can shed, or experiences you can share may just help me feeling a bit less lost with this whole thing....

I think there is always some anxiety attached to being a parent, I suppose the key is knowing when your anxiety levels have gone beyond a "normal" level and are beginning to adversely interfere with your life, relationships, work or are beginning to tip you over into exhaustion and depression.

If you feel you are struggling then definitely see your GP who will discuss your options and may be able to offer some free counselling too.

My own experience with ADs so far has been broadly positive. They have done the job without any problematic side effects. I have had some uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms but they were bearable and did pass. Overall, the pros outweighed the cons. ADs are best combined with counselling and it also helps to have a good counsellor offering the right approach for your particular needs.

Definitely visit gp for a proper diagnosis. It may be the shock you had has affecting you and some medication may help. Or they may offer a short term of counselling (6-8 sessions) or cbt but be prepared it make take quite a while to wait as it is a very popular service for people with mental health difficulties. Maybe worth telling them you had some work place counselling and what the counsellor suggested.

Taa. Having read some of the other posts I'm going to stop drinking alcohol, take some supplements, get some exercise & eat better for 2 weeks & then if there's no positive change I'll go & see the dr. I've talked it through with my husband & he thinks its a good plan too. We'll see....

That sounds a really good approach. Also if you can add into that giving yourself some quality "me time" - bubble bath, a haircut or whatever is nice and a treat to help you feel you being kind to yourself ( or a lie in and a coffee out with friends!) can be worthwhile.

I like that idea too! We're off to see some comedy on Friday night, hopefully it'll be a good tonic!

Remember that ADs aren't usually forever, most people are on them 12-18 months then if better can come off. Hopefully the other healthy changes will work and you won't need them!