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Things can get better

7 replies

MadameLeBean · 27/09/2013 20:22

Three and a half years ago I was a mess. I couldn't fly without Valium, or go in lifts, or even buses/trains and was generally paralyzed by anxiety in everyday life (eg choosing optimal shampoo would make me panic). I developed a type of blistering eczema on my hands and feet through stress. I was put on ad's. My ex was trying to get custody of my daughter and him and his wife were trying to passive/aggressive bully me out of the picture. I chased an unsuitable man to Canada (twice!).

I met my now DP just over 3 years ago. We knew belonged together. Like home/family. He understood me. They upped my dose of ADs just before court case. I became narcissistic and self destructive, feeling suicidal at times. DP supported me and looked after me. I recovered only gradually but managed to get a job (now 2 years in to a pretty good career profession) and move in with DP (and my DD came with me). I came off the ad's 18 months ago. While we were moving house actually which was the second most stressful experience of my life and put a lot of strain on our relationship! We now own our own house though and are looking to get married soon. We have learned to live together harmoniously and communicate well. The relationship has challenged me in a good way and feel we've both grown up a lot through it.

I still have times when I become gripped by obsessive worrying and become an unreasonable person to be around. But I have found CBT techniques to change your thought patterns really helpful. Learning to "let things go" and let go of trying to control every situation (so you feel "safe" - but it's an illusion! And never enough) is really really hard but you break habits by building new positive ones.

Just wanted to share for anyone who's finding things tough right now. You are not alone. And this too shall pass.

OP posts:
pudseypie · 27/09/2013 21:15

Thank you for sharing. Was just what I needed to read. Glad things are so much better for you too.

MadameLeBean · 27/09/2013 21:21

Great! Glad to help. And happy to talk.

OP posts:
pudseypie · 27/09/2013 21:53

How long did it take for cbt to work for you? I've had 10 of 12 sessions so far but the ptsd I'm trying to get over still hurts the same and I can't imagine coming off the ad's although I know I'll have to sometime and that thought scares me. I'm still going through stressful stuff with ds health which doesn't help.

MadameLeBean · 27/09/2013 21:59

I had 1 CBT session actually before I went on meds - they told me I wasn't a candidate for CBT as apparently I didn't have mh problems (because I spoke articulately and with self awareness?) ... Wtf?! The doctor was pissed off as well that they had done that but she just put me on ad's which I had wanted to avoid.

I came off the meds by reducing super super slowly and waiting a month or two between reductions and seeing how I felt. I've recently returned to CBT methods but more self administered really - reading books and there is an app for it too! Also talking to others for perspective helps.

OP posts:
MadameLeBean · 27/09/2013 22:00

Good luck.. Progress may see very slow but I look back now and see how different things are.. But they changed very gradually

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pudseypie · 27/09/2013 22:07

thanks good to know others have been through and come out stronger the other side.

teawomen · 29/09/2013 13:25

Thanks for sharing. Makes it a little easier knowing there might be an end to this xx

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