Three and a half years ago I was a mess. I couldn't fly without Valium, or go in lifts, or even buses/trains and was generally paralyzed by anxiety in everyday life (eg choosing optimal shampoo would make me panic). I developed a type of blistering eczema on my hands and feet through stress. I was put on ad's. My ex was trying to get custody of my daughter and him and his wife were trying to passive/aggressive bully me out of the picture. I chased an unsuitable man to Canada (twice!).
I met my now DP just over 3 years ago. We knew belonged together. Like home/family. He understood me. They upped my dose of ADs just before court case. I became narcissistic and self destructive, feeling suicidal at times. DP supported me and looked after me. I recovered only gradually but managed to get a job (now 2 years in to a pretty good career profession) and move in with DP (and my DD came with me). I came off the ad's 18 months ago. While we were moving house actually which was the second most stressful experience of my life and put a lot of strain on our relationship! We now own our own house though and are looking to get married soon. We have learned to live together harmoniously and communicate well. The relationship has challenged me in a good way and feel we've both grown up a lot through it.
I still have times when I become gripped by obsessive worrying and become an unreasonable person to be around. But I have found CBT techniques to change your thought patterns really helpful. Learning to "let things go" and let go of trying to control every situation (so you feel "safe" - but it's an illusion! And never enough) is really really hard but you break habits by building new positive ones.
Just wanted to share for anyone who's finding things tough right now. You are not alone. And this too shall pass.