Would CBT help DH?

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We live behind a house of students who can occasionally be a bit noisy, but if I ever ask them to turn their music down they always do.

Once a year they have a huge party which normally finishes about 3am.

The basic problem is thAt DH is obsessed with the noise/potential noise that they make, which I personally don't think is that bad.

Yes, the party keeps us all awake but its once a year and they always give us prior warning, so if we really decided we couldn't put up,with it for,that one night we could go and stay with friends.

DH has got into the habit of constantly ranting/stressing about it, even when there is no noise.

He often opens the window and listens for noise as if he's willing it to be there, even when it's not. It sometimes seems as if he enjoys getting angry.

It's like he's got into this habit of worrying that he can't break out of.

I live in the same house but don't respond in the same way as he does.

When he gets angry it impacts on everyone and we all end up walking on eggshells around him.

I hate this situation and know a little bit about CBT and how it can help change the way you view situations.

He has accepted he has a problem with getting so wound up and said he would consider speaking to someone.

Generally, he is a wonderful husband and father but although he has always been a worrier, he's never been this bad.

Tia

I have no idea. Best think is to tell the gp exactly what you wrote here and see if they will refer on NHS. The main thing is he has to be ready to work at it and want to make the changes as otherwise it is of limited benefit. There will be waiting lists on the NHS and they may prioritise people so he could have to wait quite a while.

Is there anything he could do himself to manage the concerns about hearing, such as going for a hearing test to rule out physical causes or issues as well.

Thanks hoops

I'm not sure if I expressed myself clearly enough but DH has no problems with hearing per se.

It's more that he's constantly on edge listening for noise from the students even when it isn't there. I don't mean he's hearing things that don't exist, more that he's so focused on any tiny little noise that he can't relax. And neither can we.

Would I be able to go to GP on his behalf?

And I do realise that it would take some time for him to see a counsellor on the NHS and reading this post probably makes the problem sound a bit ridiculous but he can't seem to break out of this way of thinking/worrying.

He would have to go to the dr himself to get treatment. Te idea of cbt is being prepared to do the work to change and the first step is going to the gp. You could go with him if that helps? Just as a gp cannot prescribe antibiotics for your dh without first seeing he has an infection and checking the best course of treatment so they need to assess what is wrong with your dh, listen to what he says, ask questions and then see if he requires treatment.

Generally here NHS treatment is 6-8 sessions depending on what treatment is offered or prescribed ( severe mental health diagnisis invilves a team of peopel for instance) and is usually in working hours. So enough sessions to understand what the issue is and work through things. There should be some treatment for dh. It could be one to one, group treatment, a relaxation group - not necessarily one to one counselling, so worth working out what you want before you go although ultimately the person assessing will say what dh needs.

Failing that you could see if his work offers some free counselling, as some work places do? And private treatment is an option if the NHS wait or hours do not suit.

Am not sure what treatment they would recommend. Sounds stressful situation.

Thanks again hoops it really is a stressful situation.

I've done good cop and bad cop but when he gets in one of his frantic/obsessed moods he's awful to be around so I go to another part of the house and feel really anxious and low.

Today he told me he'd been online late last night looking at local counsellors. I'm really really pleased about this but also worried about himgetting the right counsellor.

What's the best indication of a good counsellor?

That sounds really positive. If he went the NHS route then he would have no choice and would get a short set of treatment if he is assessed as needing it. If he went private he could choose who, when, when and what type of treatment he wanted.

The best thing bout going private is if the person or treatment not working for you is you can stop it straight away and not waste time, energy or resources.

A good counsellor will hopefully have key information online, enough for him to choose from. Then he can make contact and ask a few questions and book an initial appointment. In that appointment (usually pay - as would if went to hairdresser and no different, it is a person dong a job) he can say what he perceives his issue or difficulties as and find out what the counsellor would suggest and then they can decide whether to work together. If your dh wants to try a particular type of treatment then he needs to find someone trained in that, eg cbt.

Hope he finds something that suits so you both much happier soon.

Yes, I think once he's made the initial appointment and gone to it he/me/us will hopefully see a difference.

I had some CBT a few years ago for anxiety and although I didn't particularly connect with my counsellor, I think even just the act of,going to get help made a huge difference. Which is something I keep telling him