Back on the anti-ds worried about telling DH

[wandymum]

I had a really bad patch while pregnant with DC2 and for a long time afterwards. They put me on sertraline and I went for CBT and by this time last year finally felt better.

At the start of this year, I started to come off the anti-Ds. I was a bit worried about it but DH was keen for me to be 'totally back to normal'.
I was taking 150mg so it took a while but by May I was off them.

Felt fine for a few months but over the summer have noticed my mood going back to how it was. Bouts of crying for little reason, losing my temper easily and obsessing over little things.

Anyway, went to see the Dr this morning and am back on the sertraline. I know DH is going to be disappointed so think I might just not tell him.

What do you think?

But surely when you are taking the ADs you are getting back to normal. If you're feeling depressed when you come off them, that isn't normal is it? You need them just as much as an asthmatic needs ventolin or a diabetic needs insulin.

I can see why you might not want to tell your H, but his disappointment shouldn't be more important than your health.

Thanks - he just doesn't really understand. He always just saw it as me being weak rather than ill. I know that's bollocks but am just thinking that this time, as I know I won't get any support from him, it is probably easier just to keep it secret.

Yes, it might be easier. I'm so sorry he isn't more supportive :( But keep posting in this forum, there are some really kind and helpful people here who will support you!

Is there any way you could talk to him about his negativity. It isn't fair that he should be making you feel bad about about a medication that you and the doctors feel is appropriate for you. And it isn't really fair on you to have the burden of keeping it secret.

Not being supportive is one thing, but his attitude sounds positively obstructive and hindering. Would your doctor or health visitor or some other health professional be able to talk to him do you think?

Thanks - to be honest his attitude is a fairly large part of the problem in the first place. If I feel down he refuses to let me talk to him about it because he doesn't want to have to listen to my 'whingeing'. If I try he either walks away or tells me to shut up.

My psychiatrist asked to speak to him about it last time but he refused to go. Trying to get him to understand pushed me to the very brink so although it's not ideal I think it is probably better for me to hide it for now and just pretend everything is fine.

Sorry to hear that. It's a sham he is so unhelpful that you feel the need to keep it secret, but of course he has no right to know anything about your health if he has no commitment to listening constructively and respecting your decisions.

Good luck.

It sounds like your DH is the cause of your unhappiness.

Take the medication you need to, and fuck him, frankly. What an arse.