Background - Finally made myself go to the doctor for help years ago and was given leaflet for counselling as doctor didn't want to go immediately down the pills route. I am glad I didn't go down the pills route as obviously not necessary because while I didn't manage to get counsellor (money not available because I did not want to tell DH and add another burden to the joy of being my DH!), I talked to friends a bit more, walked a bit more and really tried for the sake of my DC to count my blessings.
Thank you for reading this far. Now my reason for turning to MNetters is that I struggle a lot not to be anxious to the point of gagging as if I am going to be sick. Never am sick and it usually just happens early in the morning before I have to get the DC out to school, so can hide it.
I have started with the menopause so started to wonder if it's actually the menopause - ie a symptom of being menopausal, as I noticed it started getting really bad monthly and then would subside after my period eventually came. However, I know that like today it's little worries or little changes to my routine that seem to knock me off course and make me struggle to get up and go. Sorry this really is too long. I want to try seeing a counsellor but can't for the reasons I said before, I would turn to a friend but really don't want to take the chance for them to think of me as pathetic, plus they have their own worries. No family I can turn to, in fact it's sister in laws that have triggered my struggle today. I can't eat, simply can't face opening my mouth to bite, I have to go out but can't drag myself to have a shower and my hair is too greasy to go out without a wash.
Sorry but does anyone have a magic wand as I guess I am a lost cause. But thank you for reading this far if you managed it.