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Mental health

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In a foreign country and becoming really ill.

10 replies

maniclady · 09/09/2013 00:23

I have type 1 bipolar and I'm on holiday. The problem is I can't stop thinking about self harm and suicide.

My meds have made me gain two stone and have made my beautiful thick hair all lank and flat so I am now fat and ugly.

I feel so lost and alone and this life feels so pointless. I am in a country where I am afraid of their medical treatment of mi and don't know what to do.

I don't want to spoil my dc holiday by becoming unwell. I ruin everything else for them and this is our dream holiday which we have wanted to go on for years.

I spoil everything I touch I want to protect my family from me.

OP posts:
Weegiemum · 09/09/2013 00:26

Gosh, that's sounds hard, I don't really have much advice but didnt want o leave you unanswered.

I think though that your children would choose a well you over a holiday. Do you have insurance that could bring you home if need be? I have a friend who had a random one off psychotic episode in a European country and got repatriated.

Please take care and do what's best for your health.

maniclady · 09/09/2013 00:31

Thanks for replying I have insurance but I really don't want to be admitted here. I don't even know how my partner would get me admitted here. I'm in America if that helps anyone.

OP posts:
timidviper · 09/09/2013 00:32

First of all, your family love you, remember that, they love you above everything. I had a family member close to suicide because they felt everything was pointless. As they have recovered they have seen how loved they are and how devastating their absence would be to so many people. I'm sure you are the same, you are just not seeing that yet.

I'm sure you are not fat and ugly, you are just feeling that way and we all feel like that at times. I know I do and I have no "label" or diagnosis.

I don't know what else to say as I have no experience of bipolar and, hopefully, somebody who does will be along soon. Be assured though you are loved and the way to protect your family is to get through this, not to let it destroy you.

maniclady · 09/09/2013 00:32

Thanks for replying I have insurance but I really don't want to be admitted here. I don't even know how my partner would get me admitted here. I'm in America if that helps anyone.

OP posts:
maniclady · 09/09/2013 00:34

Thanks timidviper my family do love me I know this that's why it's so hard to let them down again.

OP posts:
timidviper · 09/09/2013 00:46

You aren't letting them down manic, that's the whole point. They love you as you are

Sunnysummer · 09/09/2013 00:56

This may not help to hear right now, but your DCs love you, and you are certainly not fat and ugly, that's the illness speaking. No matter what happens, in the long run your DCs will want you to be happy and healthy. This is not the only holiday in their lives, they can have many more holidays 'of a lifetime', but only one you.

Making a plan for the worst case scenario is sensible and may also make you feel more relaxed, knowing that your safety net is prepared.

First things first - are you travelling with a partner or another adult who you can speak with first? They really need to know what's going on to support you and also in case things don't go well. If no-one is with you, can you call or message someone at home? You should focus on calming as much as possible and being with your DCs, let someone else do the running around. Make sure you are getting plenty of sleep, jet lag and other disturbances will only make you feel worse.

Next, can you call your doctor at home or a support team? They may well have medication or other suggestions to help.

While you're doing this, I'd suggest that your DP/family member / friend call your insurer to confirm what cover is available for preexisting MH issues. The insurer will usually have advice and suggestions for what to do in an emergency. If preexisting MH conditions are not covered (sadly, often the case), your support person should investigate the costs of flights home, this may turn out to be cheaper than care, as the US can be bankrupting.

If all else fails, take a taxi to the local
a&E - they have to treat you, regardless of insurance or nationality.

Thanks for you, you're clearly coping so well and doing amazingly to have got your DCs so far already.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 09/09/2013 01:00

Manic - I don't know much about mental health issues but I live in the states and do know a bit about how to navigate the health system here. I would suggest going to your local emergency room and just telling them the truth. This isn't going to get better unless you get help and there is a risk it could get worse. The sooner you get help the better.

Where about are you in the states?
Good luck.

maniclady · 09/09/2013 01:14

Thank you yes I am travelling with a partner I will do what you suggest subsumed thank you that's a great post it is very helpful.

Thank you blameit I'm in Florida. The other tissue is I've had to stop one of my meds because of side effects so it would be great if I could speak to a pychiatrrist here and switch my med.

OP posts:
HoopHopes · 09/09/2013 19:32

It might be worth phoning your insurance company up as you would have to do that before they agree to pay for treatment. I have no idea if they will let you see a psychiatrist to change a medication as to whether that is covered on your insurance but worth phoning them up to ask. That is what insurance is for. Even one private consultation might be worth it to help you enjoy your trip?
Hope you will be able to enjoy some of your trip.

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