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Don't know how to keep going

8 replies

Dunnyjo · 20/06/2006 14:35

I know i have no choice but i find every day such a struggle. I lost my mum 5 months ago and i still cry everyday. Some days i still cant believe she has actually gone and this is not happening. I have my lovely ds1 who is 2 (age says it all with the hard work!) and my new baby 4 wks old. I am at home every day while dh is at work and i feel so empty and alone. I feel lost and anxious all the time and dont want to go out. I go out when dh is with me but today i was supposed to go and get my baby weighed and decided against it because i could not facegoing out. I found just trying to get organised to go out a huge mission!
Every night i think to myself tomorrow i will do this and that and be positive but tomrw comes and i wake up with this huge aching feeling, and all over again i set off on the day in a bad mood.

I want to take my son to the beech (only 15min walk away) but the thought just turns my tummy and i start feeling scared of going out the door alone. I dont know what i am scared of but i am so unsure of everything and i have lost the strength to feel confident anymore.
I just want to runaway from me and not deal with my head anymore. I miss my mum so much i am finding it really hard just to get through each day, sometimes every hour feels like tourcher.
My dad is finding it hard too, he finds it difficult to go to work some days and he is now on ad's and valium. We talk alot and i talk alot with my sister and dh but i still cant feel as if i can reach anyone and have someone else to talk to. Sorry to go on just need to get it off my chest you know. I want all this pain to end now because i dont think i could take much more of this anymore

OP posts:
mell2 · 20/06/2006 14:45

Oh Dunny - so sorry to read your post. You have so much to deal with at the moment - it is such early days with losing your mum, and you have a 2yr old and new baby. Could you go to your gp and tell them how your are feeling?

Sending big hugs and don't think too far ahead - just one day at a timexxx

Dunnyjo · 20/06/2006 17:55

thatnks mell, i would go to the doctors but find that when the day comes i cant bring myself to go out the door. Sounds completley stupid i know but i cant shake this feeling. I know i need to get some help but i dont think anyone could possibly help right now (i am anti everything!)Dh has come home now and i feel sicure already that someone else is around. What is this all about? cause i know when tomorrow a.m comes i am back to square one. I am dreading bed time already becasue it will only bring tomorrow closer.
God i know if my mum was hear she would be dissapointed in me being so messed up!

OP posts:
SleepyJess · 20/06/2006 18:03

DJ talk to your HV, PLEASE! It's likely that this could be a little postnatal depression as well.. but even if it's not, your HV will be able to help and advise.

I know all about that anxious feeling (and I do not have a new baby nor am I bereaved, touchwood!!) and am having counselling now which I feel really positive about. He seems to really see into my head and know where I am coming from from an objective point of view (which family can't do) and he is going to teach me some relaxation methods soon. I'm sure this would help you. And you don't need to face an extra trip out to talk to the health visitor. Give her a ring or leave her a message.. she will come to you.. that's what they do! :)

Hugs. Things will improve. I know you miss your mum but time does heal in the end.

SJ x

mell2 · 20/06/2006 18:50

It doesn't sound stupid at all. As SleepJ suggests, phone the HV tomorrow and tell her exactly what you have said here - that you cannot face going out of the door.

I know that you feel that nothing can help you at the moment but if you can tell the HV or GP I'm sure they will be able to help.

Let us know how you get on and enjoy being home with dh tonight.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

mell2 · 21/06/2006 15:58

Hi Dunnyjo - have been thinking of you today and hope you are not feeling too bad. Take care of yourself, and if you can let us know how you are.

Melxxxxxxxxxxxx

mell2 · 22/06/2006 11:32

How are you Dunnyjo?

Mellxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dunnyjo · 22/06/2006 15:58

hi mell, i have not phoned hv keep putting it off. No idea what to say. I know i have to do something because i cant bare much more of this tbh. today has been a bit beter but i just feel so utterly torn and shredded inside. My sis has aasked me to get her children from school one day next wk and i am scared already but i know what the hell is wrong with me!? I am still finding it unbearable to fight the day through.

OP posts:
mell2 · 22/06/2006 16:12

Hope you find the strength to phone hv or gp as i'm sure it will feel like a weight has been lifted once you have told someone. They are the experts and have heard it all before, so don't worry about what to say.

Mellxx

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