Help re abuse and PND

[CottonWoolBrains]

Right, where to start really just been diagnosed with PND and given ADs, I was abused by my step grandad when I was younger age 7-11.

Last night I had a dream about my DH abusing my DD2 she is 3 but in the dream was much younger, in the dream I told him not too but just stood there frozen not doing anything, this is all I remember and the dream can't have been more then 5 mins because I wasn't watching long when I woke.
Just to make it clear my DH would NEVER do this EVER I trust him completely.
My issue is with me dreaming this and not doing anything in the dream I feel like I am a sick twisted person to dream this, I have felt sick all day and keep trying to push it to the back of mind but its not working I just want to cry.

I did have counselling with regards to my abuse many yrs ago and thought this was resolved but I don't know if it is, I have also been having flash backs in the last few weeks when me and DH are dtd but I just push it out of my head.

Im not really sure why I am starting this thread I think I just want reassurance that this dream does not make me in any way sick/twisted and likely to turn me into an abuser ifkwim. If any one else has had any similar dreams and also been abused.?

I am a regular but have named changed. I DO NOT want any details about anyone's abuse just reassurance and advise please.

I have to go out in a min so will return later to any replys thank you x

Firstly I'm sorry your going through all this. I am also a childhood sexual abuse victim and I have a psychotic mental illness. I have also had dreams like you describe and my psychosis centers around the idea that someone may abuse my dc.

I even believed at one point my 10yo dsis was abusing my dc. I think abuse hurts us so deeply that the scars never quite heal and it rears it's ugly head as soon as we suffer the slightest mental health problem.

I'm only telling you this so you feel less alone and like there is something wrong with you for having that dream. I would also suggest it signifies your fears you were powerless to stop yourself being abused and I think most abuse victims fear they will be powerless to stop it happening to their dc.HTH

Can you tell whoever prescribed the ad's and diagnosed pnd this info so they can help with making sure you are on the right medication? I have learnt that the more honest one is with professionals the more appropriate the treatment is.