failure to thrive in a depressed person.

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My dad is depressed. I came down Thursday night because he was making very little sense on the phone. I don't think he'd got out of bed since Monday, had barely eaten and not been taking his meds.
Yesterday it took until 1 to get him put of bed and he was back in it at 2. Today he's up but eating a bowl of cereal was exhausting and so he's asleep in the chair.
Gp came yesterday and agreed that not eating and taking meds is compounded by feeling sorry for himself.

Dad mostly wants to die. Mum died 2 years ago and he doesn't want to out live her.
I need to leave today. I have stacked his cupboards with easy nutritious snacks and meals but I have no faith that he will get put of bed, take his pills or eat.
I'm going to phone a friend and ask her to come over and see him. I'll get her a key cut because I don't think either the phone or the door bell would register with him.
gp will see him in 2 weeks. What else can I do?

I'd try your out of hours GP service, possibly less stressful than trying to go to A&E.

Is there any social work invovement? Does he have carers who come to see him during the day?
Does he have a CPN (community psychiatric nurse)? Or any input from Mental Health services? Has he had or would he welcome any bereavement support?

That is so hard - for him AND for you. You don't need to manage this on your own, although of course you'll be worried.
Small calorie rich snacks is absolutely the right thing to offer, certainly in the short-term.

I am not sure that OOH or A+E have anything to offer in this situation, I am sorry, unless you feel that admission to hospital is necessary.

Sorry, I missed the 'Gp came yesterday' sentence. I suppose it depends how poor nutrition and drinking are - dehydration could require hospital treatment if it developed.

Thanks for your replies. To answer the questions:
there in no mental health service involvement. Until very recently he was drinking and he gp won't refer an alcoholic. He's now not drinking but that's mostly because he's in no fit state to go the shops.
In terms of bereavement support he phoned cruse but they didn't call back and now he won't engage with them. He did see a couple of counsellors but got rid of the second when she told him he needed to get out and do stuff, join things etc.

He does appear to be drinking tonic water so I'm not too concerned about dehydration.

Apologies I started writing this about 10 this morning...
When I phoned him tonight he still wasn't making much sense but he had had a bowl of cereal. The suggestion of watching telly was dismissed as cruel.

I will phone adult mhs on Monday and social services to see if they can help although I have no idea if they will engage without gp support.

I know very little about depression and I'm trying very hard not to treat him the same way as my tantrumming preschoolers.
is there any advice as to how I can engage nicely without reading the riot act or setting boundaries because he doesn't react well to that kind of challenge.

How long has he not been drinking for? Could he still be withdrawing?

MH services tend to not accept referrals for people who are actively drinking, however there should be an addiction service to help with recovery.

A lot of people drink as a form of self-medication because of depression or anxiety, but alcohol being the neurotoxin it is (I say this with a glass of wine in my hand btw - it's all about the amounts) makes low mood worse.

SW should have an 'Older People's' team or something similar, also ways to engage re possible alcohol effects. I cannot advise you exactly as these things differ enourmously from area to area, but yes, do start making a fuss: the creaky gate gets the oil an' all that. Not fair, but true.

Good luck.

Thank you. Monday I will become tiger daughter. Im not sure how long he's stopped drinking for. He tells me its 2 weeks but I am aware he's an addict and not entirely honest about what he drinks.