Depressed parents and children taken into foster care.

[allalone71]

Both my husband and I suffer with depression. Over the 3 years or so the social services have been involved we have never had a mental health professional visit us. The GP just says stay on the anti depressants. The social worker. We've had 3 in total have all wanted us to magically change and be "good enough" parents. The children have been under every category because the more pressure put on us the worse we became. Now our 2 children are under an interim court order with the care plan of our 4 & 5 year olds being adoption. We see our children twice a week for an hour at a contact centre which is room at the council's offices. Final hearing is set for just before Christmas. Both my husband and I are engaging in very intense therapy as a lot of our problems stem from our own upbringing. We can be fixed and be better than just "good enough". The social worker has proved her inexperience in court but is allowed to judge 2 people who needed support not judgement. I am desperate to make the changes and get our children home.

It's great that you are motivated to change. The court will have the final say not the social worker. Although of course it will hear evidence from the social worker and the children's guardian.

Are you both legally represented?

How has your depression affected your ability to parent if you don't mind my asking.

Have social services set clear goals for you both in the past and currently?

Do you have a good solicitor to advise? It is great you have both got the intense therapy and desire to change.

Thank you for your replies. Yes sadly my depression led to several breakdowns and my new husband got caught up in the vicious circle as well. The socials workers - we've had 3 so far - have sent me for assessments not to help me but to gain evidence. I have also been told to go to my gp and stay on anti depressants. We have all suffered due to my depression which I have suffered from childhood. Only now can I immerse myself into the trauma therapy I need. We have never known what social services wanted from us as every time we did what was asked they came up with something new. For depressed parents this was very stressful and made matters worse. Our youngest starts school next month and the school we chose was changed to suit carers. The older child is in a s.e.n. unit so cannot be moved as she's statemented. We admit we went wrong but are going all out to change. They don't want to know. "Too little too late" is what the judge said :(

Oh my god. What a horrible story. So being depressed and on medication IS enough to have your children taken away? There are several thread on MN about depression, saying that your children will not be taken away just because the parents are depressed.

You say SS have been involved for 3 years. Your children are in school. I am curious about back history. Did you do 'good enough' parenting earlier? In the years before SS got involved? If you have a proven record of good parenting you could use this to prove depression is the problem? Rather than your parenting ifyswim.

marykat - just being depressed isn't a reason to take children away, but if depression prevents parents from providing adequate care for their children then it is.

I have to correct you Marykat.
Children do not get taken away from parents just because they have depression. Children get taken away from parents if those children are being physically or emotionally neglected or abused. It may be that depression renders a parent incapable of parenting, in which case the child may need to be removed, however a diagnosis of depresion alone means nothing.

I am a mental health professional and see patients with depression every day. The vast and overwhelming majority of them have no need of SS intervention. I wouldn't want a woman with depression reading this thread to be put off seeking help.

I don't know the whole of your back story OP but I do hope you and your family get all the help you need

And why resurrect an old thread?

Ffs. well spotted LadyAconleigh. Way to panic the many, many parents already feeling alone with depression

Yay I feel fantastic after reading this :-/

My God I hope the OP is okay

"Mollymatey" - what is "adequate care"? Feeding them, clean clothes, a genuine attempt at bedtime routines? (the last one I say attempt because DD has never been good at settling into bed).

There is no violence in our home and DH and I do not even fight (shout) the way my parents did. We are both depressive, though, and both feel that no matter what we do it isn't good enough (low self esteem from being bullied at school...).

I am sorry I brought this up. I was searching for something and this came up and yes, it panicked me. I am about to go to my new GP for the first time and try to convince her I still need ADs but I am well enough not to have my child taken away.

The OP isn't looking at this now..