Messed it all up - long

[allmessedup]

I am feeling so low and didn't really know where to turn but here. In the last 6 months, I've lost a parent and two close relatives, had a baby and moved house. I thought I was coping and have been trying my best to get out there and meet new people. I got involved in a group locally and was pushed into joining the committee. The group has recently made some radical decisions about the way it runs and suddenly I find I am being accused of stirring things up and labelled a trouble maker. All this has culminated in me being talked about in the local cafe and I feel misunderstood, isolated and like I've messed everything up by even getting involved.
I've tried really hard to bat this stuff aside but it is dominating my life to such an extent that I feel tearful even writing about it. I admit I'm feeling sensitive anyway after losing two people I adored but I am finding all this really hard to deal with. I know I should feel grateful for all the good things in my life but I just feel as depressed as hell.
Any words of wisdom?

walk away formthe group and make it clear youhave ben scapegoated and don't appreciate then give yourself time to find your bearings you haven't messed anything up kepp telling yourslef that. you tried something and that is waht is important

Moving house and having a baby is enough for anyone, cannot imagine what it would be like to lose relatives as well. You need time to grieve.

Don't let the committee get you down, are they really that important to you? Agree with Gothicmama.

Try to get some time with people you like/love instead.

Big hug

I think you should definitely let the group go, and give yourself a chance to relax for a bit. You could do without extra demands from all and sundry. Think of it this way, there is something else out there that you will be more valued in doing. its the story of where one door closes, another few are opened in its place. Its easy for me to say it to you, I know its hard - you gotta live it. Be strong. You can move on from this.

Thank you for your messages - after a long talk to very supportive hubby I realised that I need to put my energies into somewhere I feel more valued. I'm truly emotionally worn out from all the back biting and glares I'm getting from the group and add to that a dose of feeling over sensitive and depressed left over from losing a parent, friend and grandparent) and it's all a powerful combination.
You have offered wise advice mumsnetters and I will try and follow it. Thank you

I agree with all the advice but want to add - you won't get over the feelings that the group has given you for a while, but getting out from them will help. Make sure you turn to your DH for support when you suddenly have the feelings flood back and you feel overwhelmed - don't feel like you are being silly, and tackle it alone.