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Mental health

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I need help connecting

5 replies

GingerPCatt · 18/08/2013 13:30

I have issues with depression but am not currently on ads. I just have such a hard time openning up to people. I was bullied at school and since I've had trouble making friends. I'm scared to let people in since I don't want them to hurt me and I'm very gaurded since I don't want people to judge me negatively. This has slowly filtered over into other relationships. I live in a different country to my parents and while we get along pretty well and talk on a regular basis, I find myself keeping them at arms length. My mum is currently visiting and I'm finding it hard to talk to her about anything. Even really mundane non emotional topics. I'm the same with DH. I'd rather just watch tv or mn then engage with him. It's starting to piss him off but I'm not sure how to get myself back into talking and being open with him. It doesn't help that we moved a few months ago and I don't really have any friends yet and no job. So my days are spent with a lovely but tiring 2 yo. I just feel like I've lost myself somewhere along the way. I don't know what to do or how to get back.

OP posts:
MrsRBrand · 18/08/2013 14:32

I know how you feel, you're not alone in these feelings.
I myself feel a bit like this at the moment but didn't want to read and run, someone will be along soon to offer great advice.
Take care

GingerPCatt · 19/08/2013 17:27

Thanks mrs brand.
Feeling better today. I think my hormones were all over the place. I started my period for the first time after my miscarriage.
I'm trying to force myself to talk especially about practical things like plans for the weekend. It helps a bit. I think if I can get back into talking about normal things then maybe the more emotional stuff won't be as scary. We'll see...

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PeggyCarter · 19/08/2013 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GingerPCatt · 20/08/2013 10:20

There's another thread about Internet addiction and I think that's part of the problem I hide behind my phone. I'm gonna try some of the recommended apps to cut down my phone time. I need to cut down on tv too but one step at a time.
I'm planning on starting a uni course in oct so that will force me to be around people and interact. It also forces me to have conversations about money with DH and my parents.
I've also invited a friend of DH's over fir dinner on thurs. they work together and I like her so am trying to open up and see how it goes.

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GingerPCatt · 21/08/2013 20:34

Shit day today. Been in tears on and off. Didn't start well when I was making pancakes and DH told me to take the pan off the heat since it was too hot. I know it was unreasonable but I just took it really personal like he was saying I was stupid or couldn't cook. I know he was just trying to be helpful but it turned into a row since I wouldn't apologize for being hurt and he wouldn't say he was sorry fir hurting my feelings. Not a great start. Hardly got anything done on my to do list. Just feel crap and useless. Meeting up with a "friend" and her kids tomorrow. She's ok but doesn't really seem interested in me it just gives us something to do. Hope dinner with other friend goes ok.
Ok game face on and downstairs to watch tv with my mum and DH.

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