Mild Vascular dementia, recent diagnosis

[AuraofDora]

looking for advice really. Just been confirmed that my Mum has this condition Memory Clinic say there is nothing they can do even in terms of support groups at this stage

She is depressed and lonely since my Dad died and we knew something major was wrong but still quite a shock when confirmed.

Does anyone know why they will not tell the sufferer of this condition? The nurse says it would be detrimental to her condition but I am worried she will be looking for her scan results, what will they tell her? Also concerned my mouthy sister will blurt it out to her too.

My brother and I are about to try to speak to her about Lasting Power of Attorney (scotland) and just wondering if there anyone has any advice or soothing words of wisdom?

thanks.

anyone?

.

So sorry Dora. I have no idea why your mum should not know, especially if the illness is mild. This is not standard practice, don't know if your mum had indicated she didn't want to know?
Alzheimers Scotland would be a good start,they will know what is available locally. There will be more out there, im sure

Hi Aura, my mum has recently been diagnosed with severe dementia, vascular and Alzheimer's. She's been in residential care for the last 4.5 years and I've just had to move her to a home better placed to provide for her needs.

She set up PoA 20 years ago and I registered it when she first went into care 4.5 years ago and have been using it ever since, for daily management of her money and now to sell her house to continue to fund her care.

Happy to help you if I can.

I'm really sorry to hear of your mums diagnosis.

I don't think it's for the nurse to say not to tell your mum though, it's a big secret to keep. If you feel that she should know then tell her.

The nhs page about vascular dementia is quite helpful, I'm sure there are support groups you can access yourself.

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/vascular-dementia/Pages/Treatment.aspx

forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forum.php

The message boards on the Alzheimer's Society's website are a good place to go for advice and support.

Thanks all, am very grateful for your advice.

I'm listing up loads of questions for the nurse before I call to speak to her but this is the burning question really.

It feels like the elephant in the room and also worried that it might hinder any help we might be able to access in terms of practical support and help from authorities.

It feels like news that should come from the Memory Clinic or doctor not me, she might resent that we know and she didn't.

And I agree it's a mighty big secret to keep, am sure my sister will blurt it out too, she has not responded to my email confirming diagnosis (she lives in Canada) and will be visiting next week with express view of 'sorting things out'

I have posted on the Alzheimer site but plenty of viewings, sadly only one reply.

Am in the middle of house sale falling through so it's difficult time all round

Has anyone become carer for parent in this situation? It would involve moving my family to other end of the country but I cant stop thinking of my mum and how lonely and ill she is.

Any more advice ladies?

I would advise moving your mum near to you sooner rather than later, would this be possible?

We were in a similar position with DPs Mum a few years ago. She is now completely dependent and needs 24 hour care. DP is her main family carer (POA, managing her affairs etc) and I am on the rota of live-in residential carers now. So far we have managed to carry out her wish to remain at home and all in all she has a very good quality of life.

There is masses to say and I need to dig into my memory for some of it but the thing that is immediately jumping out is Power of Attorney.

It took us a while to go through a gentle process of discussing POA and getting it set up. The reason this is jumping out is that once capacity has declined to a certain point you have totally lost the opportunity and it makes a huge difference in the long run to have this in place. Other things which have immediate day to day importance can usually be worked on.

The personal cost to DP and I has been enormous but I do not say that to put you off.

I will PM you.