Can't cope anymore

[ShineyBlackShoes]

That's it really. Had enough, can't cope. No sure what to do or where to go.

Not valued at work, been single so long that I have lost all my self-confidence, there is no one to support me emotionally and I financially support myself and a grown up son and a late teen just on my salary, doing all the ferrying around because the only place I can afford to live had a rubbish bus service and they don't yet drive.

I have no real life, haven't had one for years as I have been a lone parent for well over a decade.

I can't see a future for myself beyond what I have, which is fine but lonely and pretty poor on the having-it front; no holidays etc.

I feel trapped in still supporting my kids and feel awful about that; it is not my eldest's fault there are no jobs and currently unless they are in normal workng hours in only 3 places he wouldn't be able to get there anyway.

The lack of emotional support is a killer as when things go wrong there is only me to deal with it, and I just don't have the energy anymore.

I just want to go to not have to deal with everything anymore. I want someone to tell me it will be OK, that I am doing a good job, that I am wanted and loved...but I am not. I am just mum and needed (and loved) for being mum. I am not loved for being me, I am not valued for being me and my life seems quite pathetic because of that.

I truly am not valued for being anything other than a mum. That should be enough but today it isn't, today I can't cope anymore.

Sorry you feel that way, it sounds really hard. How old are DCs? I wonder if you could pass some household responsibility to one or both of them? It might give them something to write on cv in terms of experience.

Could you teach eldest to drive? Any courses they could do instead of looking for work? It can be hard to see a way out when a lot of things build up but maybe tackle one thing at a time e.g. Find a hobby just for you to help improve social side

For what it is worth, it sounds like you are doing a great job of keeping family together but maybe you are at the point of needing a break, if holiday is out of the question then maybe just some kind of change in routine?

Hope things get better soon, often wish I had a crystal ball when things are hard so I know just how long something is going to last!

Thanks Ruby.

My DCs are 21 & 18 and I think life is tougher now than ever. If the eldest could get a job in the next six months that would help but really he doesn't want to be at home after 3 years at Uni.

I have a reasonably well paid job for my experience and (over) qualifications, and finding something better will be hard but I am applying for 2 jobs this week. Took my 200 applications to get this one though and that was 8 years back.

A crystal ball would be great I guess but if I saw that my future continued life as it has been and is, then I am not sure I could cope. At least I have some hope that one day someone might chose to love me. Sadly no one has to date: cheating husband, unsuitable fiancé, cheating boyfriend (with his ex-wife!)... I have the worst relationship history ever.

I hope things get better soon too as if this continues for too long I am not sure what I might be capable of doing to end the pain and pointlessness, and I think my youngest probably still needs me for a few more years so I have to try and hang on in here.

Why is life so hard sometimes!

It is a hard time to be looking for a job, wish your eldest all the best. It may be he will have to move to find work, doesn't sound like you are near a city? I'm sure he will find something just has to keep looking.

You are doing well looking for be new job too, I keep trying to figure out what to do with my job, pays well enough but I am completely unmotivated, been doing it for about 15years and company has changed so much it is nothing like what I started! Is youngest going to uni too? If so there will likely be big changes for you all in next few years so I would say hang on in there.