I have been struggling but coping for months until very recently, when I went to gp and was prescribed citalopram for anxiety and depression.
Background is my DM died 2 years ago, 6 weeks after the birth of DD (now 2.1). I also have DS who's now 3.8. If you do the maths you'll see this is both a happy and very sad time for me. Mums birthday is also in the middle of all this. Work didn't contact me after the birth of my daughter (or my son for that matter) so I saw no point in letting them know mum had died. I am bitter about this as have 20 years service and thought I had friends there.
I have had no time off work until this summer where I've struggled to keep intrusive thoughts under control.
I have had 2 weeks off work. The week after I started the ad's I was so tired I could barely function. The week after I was ok so went back to work. But the next week I just couldn't face it. This is the end of the second week.
Now here we are and dh is telling me I need to go back as it's only going to be harder the longer I leave it. He's right but I haven't the energy to. I am customer facing and need to be on my game. I'm not. I think he's angry with me or at least pissed off because I'm not trying. I have been lazy while off but I don't see the point of doing stuff.
But I cant put into words why. I don't want to worry him by telling him about the suicidal thoughts. I haven't had any since I started the ad's anyway, though I do think about running away a lot.
Sorry this is long. Don't want to drip feed.