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help me explain why I can't/don't want to work to dh. A bit long.

3 replies

acrabadabra · 11/08/2013 10:09

I have been struggling but coping for months until very recently, when I went to gp and was prescribed citalopram for anxiety and depression.

Background is my DM died 2 years ago, 6 weeks after the birth of DD (now 2.1). I also have DS who's now 3.8. If you do the maths you'll see this is both a happy and very sad time for me. Mums birthday is also in the middle of all this. Work didn't contact me after the birth of my daughter (or my son for that matter) so I saw no point in letting them know mum had died. I am bitter about this as have 20 years service and thought I had friends there.

I have had no time off work until this summer where I've struggled to keep intrusive thoughts under control.

I have had 2 weeks off work. The week after I started the ad's I was so tired I could barely function. The week after I was ok so went back to work. But the next week I just couldn't face it. This is the end of the second week.

Now here we are and dh is telling me I need to go back as it's only going to be harder the longer I leave it. He's right but I haven't the energy to. I am customer facing and need to be on my game. I'm not. I think he's angry with me or at least pissed off because I'm not trying. I have been lazy while off but I don't see the point of doing stuff.

But I cant put into words why. I don't want to worry him by telling him about the suicidal thoughts. I haven't had any since I started the ad's anyway, though I do think about running away a lot.

Sorry this is long. Don't want to drip feed.

OP posts:
ssd · 11/08/2013 10:35

hi op

TBH I don't have any great advice for you. I can see why your dh doesn't understand your feelings, I think most people that haven't went through a real major bereavement have no idea how bad it is, but I can also see (a lot better) why you're feeling like this. My mum died last year and I haven't got much support since. Sounds like you are a bit the same. If you are, I'm sorry, it sucks big time.

I would recommend you contact cruse, the bereavement counsellors. I have and am waiting for an appt, but my god it takes a while. They are just so busy. I asked for counselling through my gp but got fobbed off with a leaflet. Is it worth you going back to your gp and trying to discuss this? Also the side effects of the tablets you are taking sound quite common, I've never been on anti d's, although a few people who know me well say I should try them. But I couldn't cope with the side effects, like you I couldnt do my job and we need the money too much to risk that, although I have a very low paid job.

I'm sorry, I have no answers. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. let y

acrabadabra · 11/08/2013 10:44

Thanks ssd. Gp gave me lots of leaflets too including cruse number. Haven't called them yet. Have issues with phones.

I'm sorry for your loss too. Does suck.

OP posts:
ssd · 11/08/2013 11:01

it does indeed.

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