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Mental health

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Original poster

was it rape?

10 replies

fee25 · 03/08/2013 07:20

when i was 15 (10 years ago) i was out with my friends and got far to drunk (the first time i really got drunk) and these 3 boys came along. i remember going off with them only.because i didnt want to look boring infront of my friends cuz i never had much rriends. i ended up having sex with all 3 of them i was so drunk i woke up the next morning not remembering how it all happened n delt so ashamed of myself, it isnt something i would do sober is that rape?

OP posts:

PicardyThird · 03/08/2013 07:24

I think from the detail you give it's too difficult for us to say for definite, but it's highly likely you were (as people used to say) taken advantage of. Certainly your ability to consent was probably impaired and the boys should have realised this

If this is affecting your life, talk to someone about it. It may not have been rape in a judicial sense (but again, I can't tell from the info you gave), but it certainly sounds like an unpleasant experience at the least, and you deserve to be able to work through it in a safe environment.

ChristineDaae · 03/08/2013 08:05

Legally yes as you were under 16. How old were the boys? You were clearly too young and too impaired to consent legally anyway.
I work in a pub and there is posters in the toilet. Can't remember the wording but basically saying a drunken yes isn't a yes... If they're too drunk to say no stay away.

Bearandcub · 03/08/2013 08:19

Yes it is. In my opinion if you are drunk or on drugs to the point your judgement is impaired it means consent cannot be given in the same way as if you were sober.

Original poster

fee25 · 03/08/2013 08:20

i think the boys were 17/18, when i woke up the nwxg morning i coulnt really.remember what they looked like

OP posts:

Roshbegosh · 03/08/2013 08:24

Just want to say how angry this makes me and say so sorry these evil people did that to you x

xtinamummy27 · 03/08/2013 22:45

just wanted to say i had a v similar experience when i was 15, i got drunk at a "friends" house and the next thing i knew i was having sex with a boy (also v drunk) but had no idea how it happened or even if i had been conscious when it started. I was very upset but my friends told me that i had been all over the guy and had dragged hi upstairs making it very obvious what my intentions were (i still after 13 years have no memory of this) it still upsets me when i think of this now. I dont remember talking to this boy or interacting with him at all, only suddenly becoming aware that we were having sex.

Original poster

fee25 · 04/08/2013 19:29

am in a realtionship the now but sex life is non existent can that because of what happened 10 years ago. i feel that sex is bad and i really dont like it. my hv is coming out this week dont know if she the right person to tell?

OP posts:

Original poster

fee25 · 05/08/2013 20:21

bump?

OP posts:

Bearandcub · 06/08/2013 05:40

I think she might be a good place to start, OP. have you tried speaking to RapeCrisis or any abuse survivors services to talk through how this is making you feel?

I am sorry you are going through this. It reads as if the memory of this incident is becoming an issue or has it been a constant issue?

Original poster

fee25 · 06/08/2013 07:22

its been a constant issue alwaus been confused about it, think i meed.to say something.now to help me move on from it

OP posts:

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