I'm a single parent with a diagnosis of bipolar and can never sustain a relationship. I have an ok job but can't get promoted. I am stuck in my tiny home town as my family are here. I like it but would rather not rely on family and move to a local city.
The trouble is I have a lot of demons regarding this area as my incredibly abusive ex used to live here. I feel like I can never escape. I have moved away several times only to fuck up and move back to mum and dad. Mum is now dead, dad is great but I want him to enjoy retirement without me dragging him down and my sister won't talk to me as she hates me. I think my illness made me difficult in the past but she should have some insight as she's a psychiatrist.I grieve the loss of having a sister who wants a relationship with me.
I love dd beyond anything but my pregnancy was not recieved by her dad who tried to pressure me to abort. Since she was born I have had two short, very intense relationships which have ended badly and with me being devastated. I just feel so beaten down by life. I am due to start cbt and am going to enrol in the freedom programme. I have started to see someone but it's just sex which is all I can cope with right now. I'm hoping this won't mess with my head but I need the physical contact right now.
Once I am a bit more sorted I want to move away to Bath in a few years time which is wonderful and near to my home town. but I am so worried about dd and school.