losing my grip on things

[sheepgomeep]

I'm feeling a bit down and lonely at the mo. what dosen't help is that dp started nights about a month ago and does 5 nights week, his two days off are spent in a daze and he's also got severe hayfever which makes him very grumpy andsnappy especially with my ds aged 6 9not his kids btw)I miss him terribly both at night and during the day because I get really lonely.

I've lost touch with quite a few friends over the past year or so, they are either childless and still at the clubbing and single life or they have problems themselves, what i'm trying to say is I have no one close to me I can rely on anymore. I have a wonderful friend who I've known for seven year who lives in brum but has recently gone through huge changes in her life new fella and new baby etc and now we only speak now and again. She was there for me when I split my ex. I feel down about this too as I really do miss her.I find it quite hard to really get 'into' people, I've aways been an outsider looking in so the the few friends I had were precious to me. Obviously i'm not to them

My dp and me are having loads of problems ourselves, masses of debt,he's got depression, i'm due to move soon but struggling to find somewhere to live, my ex is being a twat and my eldest is being assessed for ADHD and my dp is really struggling with my ds. My house is like a war zone.

I don't know, i feel like I'm slowly losing my grip on things, I have these funny fluttery feelings in my chest from time to time and my hands feel funny too.

My house is always a mess, my dp is useless round the house, he used to be ok until he started this job. He dosen't drive so I have to drive him everywhere, although he really tries not too. He's started biking it too work and back so I don't have to take him.

sorry for whinging on, I don't expect any replies really, its just nice to sound off

I wish I had advice sheep, I'm afraid I don't really, but didn't want to leave your post unanswered. You've got a hell of a lot on your plate. :( How about a visit to the GP? Those symptoms may 'just' be down to extreme stress but it's probably worth having it checked out. Maybe you could discuss counselling too, if you feel it would help?
Oh have to go, that's ds waking. Hope I could help at least a little bit anyway

you go ahead and sound off, youre entitled too!no advice though, other than keep your chin up and hopefully things will get better

sorry you're having a bad time sheep x x Mumsnet is a good place to vent! I don't really have any advice but didn't want you to feel like no-one replied. Messy house drives me crazy. Its relentless isn't it. You've got so much stress there its not surprising you are feeling anxious. I'm sure your friends would be there for you if they knew how you were feeling. Why not have a go at getting back in touch with them?
Hope someone has some helpful words for you x x x

Hi Sheep. I know exactly what you're talking abt.. Messy houses drive me insane too. I'm abt, hopefully-already 6 days overdue!, to have homebirth and am drivin everyone nuts with having to vacuum before kids go to bed-just in case. My DS1 is not my husbands and has problems which have yet to be identified but possibly autism or OCD.. I find it difficult when other people discipline him as he gets wound up easily and needs handling carefully to avoid the situation getting out of control. Have you suffered depression before? I had PND twice and am already dreading getting it again. I think it would be worth seeking drs advice. Could just be stress but may make it easier to talk to dr than feel like you are burdening friends (thats how I often feel) Good luck x

hi thanks everone for your replies.
I really should go to the doctors and I might make an appointment this week. I have had depression before, one pnd and once when my ex left me. I just don't want to go there again if i can help.

I had another massive row with dp this morning. We are both struggling with him working nights and i'm just wondering if theres anyone else out there who is in the same boat.
Mitch your ds sounds little like mine. Does your dp get on with him?

Oh sheep, I'm sorry to hear this. It sounds like you have lots to deal with. It's good that you're going to your GP.

It sounds like your DPs nights are very tough on you both. I have plenty of experience of nights for DP and me.

Have you thought about evening classes or OU? It's a great way of meeting new people and keeping yourself occupied when you're alone. It also gives you a good boost when you do well.

Can your DP do some driving lessons to help take the load off you?

hi arfy.

I did suggest to dp that I would like to do some evening classes. There is a trampoline course that I would like to do.

The problem is with dp is that he can be quite controlling and paranoid but we are slowly working through that.

I think you are right, getting out of the house is the way to go, i'm going to see what courses there are for september i think and start saving as we don't have a lot of money. dp said that when we get back on his feet he will start driving lessons so that will be a help.

I used to do trampolining. How's your pelvic floor?

A lot of the courses run at local education centres can be heavily subsidised or paid by installments - same with OU. There are also OU starter courses at 99GBP and the others can be paid monthly.

I have done evening classes for years. Also OU. It really is a great way to get to know people and boost your self-esteem. I'm pleased you're thinking about it.

This term I'm trying to choose between wine appreciation and pole-dancing (intermediate) .

Is there any chance of you teaching DP to drive, or is that just a REALLY bad idea.

Oh fgs. Attack of the mutant kitten. 'Scuse me.

I tried that!!! He crashed and wrote of my car. Never never again lol!!

my pelvic floor is awful lol. I have to wear a tenalady on a trampoline after a really really embarrassing experience!! I used to trampoline for Luton university. wasn't brilliant but could all the basics

I'm definetly going to try for an evening course.
can't believe your thinking about pole dancing lol, that does sound quite cool!

Guffaws. I used to do 5 hours a week before I had DD and always gave an encouraging chat to the mums about how frequent accidents were. That and the suspicious carpet burns on the knees.

Pole dancing is excellent, not at all seedy. It's really hard too. Surprisingly the lady who looked most like the church organist was the best at my last class .

Ps. Am terribly straight-laced really. All my friends were horrified.

oh yeah the carpet burns lol.. I'd forgot about them.

I know pole dancing is harder than it looks. I tried it once at a club and ended making a total arse of myself!

pmsl at the straight laced looking organist church player poledancing oooh I just can't get that image out of my head..

off to work now unfortunately. Hope to catch you again soon.