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Original poster

How do you tell people you are not ok?

54 replies

NotOK · 08/06/2006 13:27

I'm not good at the moment, I don't know if this is the right place to put this message as I feel like a fraud but I am going to post anyway.

How do you tell people you are not OK? I don't know how to do it. I just smile and say I'm great, things are good etc I turn my bad days into jokes and any crisis into a comedy when I mention it to anybody.

I think I need to go to the GP but I don't know what to say, I feel stupid and false.

I don't cry, I'm not depressed but something seriously isn't right in my head at the moment. I feel like I'm going to explode and I want to walk away from my life - that's not right is it.

OP posts:
tenalady · 08/06/2006 13:28

I say 'oh you know, bearing up'

tenalady · 08/06/2006 13:29

and add a little sigh, that normally raises their curiousity if they are really interested.

dinosaure · 08/06/2006 13:30

Please, if you are feeling bad, go to your GP. You don't need to tell your friends that you are feeling bad, but do seek proper help.

WigWamBam · 08/06/2006 13:33

I don't tell anyone anything - apart from dh, and he can usually tell when I'm having a bad time. Most people in RL don't know about my depression, it feels safer that way, and means I have less explaining to do, and I do tend to hide it away even from those people who know about it.

Depression shows itself in a lot of ways, including plastering on a smile and turning bad days into jokes. If something isn't right in your head then go and have a chat with the GP - he won't judge, he will have seen this all before, and he can help you.

Dior · 08/06/2006 13:34

It is a difficult situation. Some friends would genuinely want to know, others run a mile. I usually stick to, 'I'm well thanks', which is usually true in the physical way!

You do need to see someone if you feel like exploding.

Original poster
NotOK · 08/06/2006 13:35

I won't be able to say anything if I do go to my GP, I've tried before when I've been about other things but I just bottle it. I don't know what to say. I nearly called the surgery earlier but I couldn't. When I think about sitting in a GP's room telling him I feel like walking away from everything it almost makes me smile, nobody would believe me.

I can't talk to my mates. I could never tell them how I really feel and I don't think they'd know how to react which I think would make it worse. It would be so out of character and then they'd all be off discussing my crisis when I wasn't there. it would be awful.

OP posts:
dinosaure · 08/06/2006 13:36

Come on, you can do it. Book an appointment. GPs are used to people who look like they are coping brilliantly, admitting that in fact they are doing no such thing. It doesn't matter if you well up and get a bit tearful. Please do it and don't bottle it up.

Original poster
NotOK · 08/06/2006 13:36

I have tried to mention to GP before, I have been tested for glandular fever on 4 seperate occassions.

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 08/06/2006 13:37

Write down how you feel, and if you think you're going to bottle it when you see the GP then just hand him the note. He would believe you, he would take it seriously and he would help you.

Dior · 08/06/2006 13:38

If you told him/her that you felt you wanted to walk away, it WOULD be taken seriously...Go and see them.

WigWamBam · 08/06/2006 13:40

The fact that you've posted here tells me that you know you need help. Please see someone before things get worse.

Original poster
NotOK · 08/06/2006 13:46

I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say here. Let alone with someone sitting in front of me.

OP posts:
Tommy · 08/06/2006 13:53

you could take this thread wth you. What you've said in the OP sounds like what you need to sat to the GP.
As to what to say to others, I think it depends on how good a freidn they are. You could say, when they ask, "To be honest, I'm not feeling that great at the moment..." If they are concerned than they will ask more questions and you might be able to talk to them.
You could also phone the Samaritans - 08457 909090. You don't have to be suicidal and you could use it as a "practice" for what you want to say to your GP.
Good luck.

toadstool · 08/06/2006 13:55

I don't like talking about my downers with friends either. Some GPs are intolerant of 'talking cures', and don't have the time to listen properly. I've been seeing a counsellor for 18 months just because things 'weren't right', and I repeated for the first few months that nothing was really wrong. It WAS the best thing to do, because she kept asking me, 'Why are you laughing/joking about this awful thing you're describing to me? You're safe here, I'm not here to judge.' And of course plenty was wrong. (You can contact a counsellor without talking to your GP about it, btw). Also, the counsellor doesn't know me in RL, has no preconceptions about me, and I know she will NOT laugh, or suggest viral tests, or talk about me behind my back. Please get help, if you think you want to walk away from it all, you need to find a safe form of support to work out what's going on.

WigWamBam · 08/06/2006 14:02

It doesn't matter what you say - you don't have to get everything out. Just tell your GP what you've told us - something isn't right in your head and you want to walk away from your life. Honestly, he will have seen this so many times before and will know the things to ask you to start to get to the bottom of the problem.

Write down what you've written here - we can see you need help, and your GP will see that too.

Just go and see him, please.

Patttsy · 08/06/2006 14:19

NotOK, just say "I am not feeling so great" or something similar. When I went through a period of depression I found that even when I told people that I wasn't so great, they kinda went into denial, "You'll be fine" comments, so I got depressed about the fact that I wasn't being heard and stopped telling anyone which didn't help my recovery.

FloatingOnTheMed · 08/06/2006 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NotOK · 08/06/2006 14:58

Yeah I think maybe that has something to do with it FOTM. I just wouldn't know where to start either, it's all seems so trivial.

Thank you all, by the way.

This is going to sound really perverse but I'm scared I might just start laughing if I go and see a gp. You'll probably all think I'm a troll now, I'm not.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotOK · 08/06/2006 15:31

I regret posting that.

OP posts:
Tommy · 08/06/2006 15:36

don't woryy about the last post.... Smile
I know what you mean - lots of people laugh when they are nervous
Hang in there.

Original poster
NotOK · 08/06/2006 15:45

Thanks. My head is all over the place at the moment, I can't really think straight I'm all full of what ifs today.

OP posts:
FloatingOnTheMed · 08/06/2006 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beansontoast · 08/06/2006 16:09

i could have written your post...sometimes there is something quite wonkily wrong that you cant put your finger on?

i am also someone who laughs heartily when telling people that im devastated/struggling /on the edge.

getting it all out (coherently or notSmile) on here really helps...but id also say see you gp
xx

blueteddy · 08/06/2006 16:24

Agree that you need to go & see your gp. You don't have to let the people around you know that you are unhappy, but I think it sounds like you need help of some kind.

WigWamBam · 08/06/2006 16:52

Did you know that there is something called "smiling depression"? When you cover depression up with a smile, when you turn everything bad into a joke, when everyone thinks you're fine but your smile is forced and fixed in place, when you over-compensate and laugh when you want to cry, when you think you'll laugh when you see the GP ... it's still something that can be treated, and it's still something your GP will take seriously.